A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am 38 years old, married and 22 weeks pregnant. My husband has walked out on my and I have no way to contact him. He left in my 10th week and then we tried to work things out and were doing good when all of a sudden he flipped out on me and said he didn't even want to know when our child was going to be born. He lost his job and is blaming me for that as well according to his sister in law. My husband has MDD and gets angry very easily he is living with his brother as far as I know. I am fine with getting a divorce and his and my relationship being done, but I am pregnant with our child and I cannot work due to an auto accident. I need his help, But what do I do? Why would any man leave his wife over an arguement while she is pregnant? What is the likelyhood of him returning? I am really hurt and confused. I was raised that his type of behavior is unacceptable.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Country Woman  +, writes (11 August 2008):
 Sweetheart I can only say how sorry I am that your husband has walked out on you but this is the time that you should be having a wonderful time enjoying your pregnancy and not having all this stress as cupidguy points out very well.
You need to surround yourself with help and love from your family and friends and any relatives of your husband's who know what the situation is and are willing to help. Don't be proud as that just isn't common sense.
Get to find out your rights and you need to consider what your next move is.
If you need things for you and the baby then start planning out what you need and costing things out. Even if that is looking online or getting help through all sorts of FREE ways.
The one thing I do know is that in the UK and all over the world as far as I know there is a FREE service called FREECYCLE and that is where people get rid of things they no longer want but it is FREE and not chargeable. I put loads of my old baby items on the site and I have had loads of different things in return as well. I put up my daughter's old pine cot and mattress and gorgeous spotless activity playcentre's that she had as a baby and these had all been festering in my loft, she is now 7 and a half.
Get as much help as you can and definitely find out where he is, if he is not working then help with costs could be difficult but if he is claiming any type of benefits then there must be a way that an amount can be given to you and your child. After all this is his child to and he needs to support you.
I would say though that I would be very sure about divorce proceedings right now as this could get very stressful for you but in turn this may make him realise how upset and angry you are that he has left you in the lurch so to speak. You will also be entitled to free legal aid I would have thought.
In the UK whilst you are pregnant and up to a year afterwards you get state maternity money and also free dental care and free prescriptions so make sure you know what you are entitled to.
Don't sit around on your own and make yourself miserable but instead get those closest to you to help you and if Freecycle is any good get them to collect items for you and you can always put up requests online or anyone else can on your behalf. You can also get rid of any old items you no longer want either, maybe get in touch with his brother and say if your husband does not get in touch you are going to sell off some of his items if you have any left in the home for funds off Ebay to go towards any baby items.
Stay strong sweetheart and try and get as much rest as you can so put your feet up each day and allow yourself time to enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can as it will be full on once the baby is born so stock up on your energy levels OK.
Keep us posted as we are all here to help as much as we can OK.
BFN
Country Woman
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