| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: Hello I really hope you guys can help. I have been with my husband for 2 years. But I am having trouble accepting his past. He was deeply in love with his ex girlfriend for several years and he was left a broken man when they broke up. He took years to get over her and there are all these self help books all over the house which reminds me of this constantly everyday. Hope do I move on from this? How do I start to deal with someone's past. I know they have no contact and he rarely talks about her but I know she left a huge mark on his life. I am writing this as I just came across more stuff in our house that reminds me of her and what she meant and I feel ill and heartbroken. Help me.
View related questions:
broke up, ex girlfriend, heartbroken, his ex, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): I think you should say to yourself that you are trying to help him in the NOW. His past was his past and nothing more. Like everyone he was searching for love but it did not work out. He had someone who he loved very much but broke his heart. But he didn't just mope around, he has been working to get better for himself, and for you the real love of his life. The one who wont break his heart. And he is with you, not her.
There is an article on this site that I read a long time ago on how to accept someone's past. It's not easy task at that as you already know.
So there are books around that remind you of her. But you know its not really about her. If you feel this badly about it, maybe you should talk about it with him, perhaps he is ready to move on and put these books away. Reassure him that you are there for him now. If he still needs the books then perhaps putting them in a better part of the house, as so not to wierd out guests, visitors and yourself.
A
female
reader, keepitreal03  +, writes (29 May 2009):
Well she will always be apart of his life. But u can be the light that brightens his day! U can be the women that helped him through a hard time, and didn't just up and leave him. Maybe if u talk to him about it more u cam give him advice like a friend not as a wife. He will love that. I'm sure he deals with emotions that he feels u don't wanna hear about. He loves u and I'm sure he wouldn't want her after what she did. That can really kill a persons soul it happened to me. Its so hard!! Simlar to a death it goes so deep. And if u can be there for him and support him and talk and not get upset over the details of the love they had it will bring him closer to u.
...............................
|
