A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Apologies for the length of this but I am really really worried by my husband's idea.My husband told me he is holding a lads' party - in our house. He said the party rules are - no clothes, just your underwear, and bring booze and porn too, plus DVD's as well - the ultimate lads night out.He's advertised it in the local paper and on the Net too.He says our house is large enough - which, to be honest, it is a large house.However he says that all his friends are coming and that everyone will be in just their underwear in another room in the house - even him. He also said no women are invited either, and the party involves booze, loud music, cigs, and porn. He said there's somewhere for them to get undressed as well in our house.He also expects me to make the food for them, and supply the booze as well (he's ordered $400 worth of beer off the Internet).I've told him he can't have this party, as it will upset the neighbours and ruin our house, but he insists that it will go ahead and that I can't tell him what to do.I feel upset, and have told him so - but he really insists on having this huge bash in our house.I can't understand why a load of strange men I barely know want to party in just their undies in OUR house.What can I do to stop my husband from going ahead with this??I always knew he was an adventurous man, but this is probably taking it too far.I'm worried about what the neighbours will think, and also my friends as well.All help appreciated.
View related questions:
neighbour, porn, the internet, underwear Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): Tell him the idea is very upsetting to you and that you don't want him to do it. If he then goes ahead = Option 1) Realise that he clearly does not care at all about your feelings (do you really want to be with a man who does that to you - where will he stop?)and move his things out of your house. Option 2) Allow him to get away with doing this to you, disrespect you and violate your home in this way and watch your self esteem ebb away. The issue here is - if he does this once.... whats next ? I'd give him an ultimatum and stick to it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): The "porn" in question is women, yes, and lads mags.
I've tried and tried discussing it with him but to no avail.
What should I do??
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2007): I should add that when he advertised it on the Net, it was on his company's website, and the men are his work colleagues (all 40 + of them!), so they don't appear to be strangers (he told me they're just work colleagues who he advertised it to!)
He said it's just a guys' night out (or night in for him), and it'd be good. He also said the men are his friends from work, he's very popular there, he says! He told me the guys from work are looking forward to this huge bash.
He keeps insisting that it will happen, and that everyone's paid up for this night out.
He still expects me to make all the food and drink for them - and I've told him no, this is unacceptable but he insists it should go ahead.
He's already ordered $400 worth of booze, $600 worth of nachos, cheese and chilli dip, and other food stuff.
I did my research, and it does, on the face of it, appear to be a genuine guys' night out-type party.
I asked him why he wants to do this, but he says it's just him and his workmates having some laddish fun - and no-one should worry.
Really, though, wouldn't you find it a bit odd that a load of men are partying in nothing more than their undies??
I still can't understand why a load of strange men I barely know want to party in just their undies in OUR house - it makes me feel worried. Isn't this a bit of an odd party to have, whatever the reason??
I've tried and tried discussing it with him, but to no avail. He now says the party will happen next weekend, how can I deal with this party/stop him from doing this??
I feel stressed, worried and upset - and also embarrassed about what the neighbours and my friends will think of it.
If your husband/boyfriend planned something like this, how would you deal with it??
All advice is appreciated.
...............................
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (20 May 2007):
 This doesn't sound much like a normal male party to me I'm afraid. I know the men I know couldn't think of anything worse than sitting around with a load of almost naked men watching porn! Sounds to me like he's got other plans and whether that's women or each other, it just cannot happen in your home!
Tell him he has to be considerate of the neighbours. If he refuses and goes ahead, threaten to move out because you don't want to be tarred with the same brush as him for being a bad neighbour.
He really is being unreasonable: these men aren't even his friends, sounds like he's advertising for more than just a lads night in if he's been getting strangers from the internet to come round! You need to do some research into these ads he's put out. What do they say? It all sounds very bizzare to me.
If he really is that annoying and inconsiderate of you and others, you need to get rid. I know it's harsh but he doesn't sound like he cares about anything but himself. Tell him to shape up or ship out.
...............................
|
