A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have been married for 7 months and we've been together for 2 years. We've always had a great relationship-he loves to cuddle, he's taken me to new places and taught me new things. We go fishing together every chance we get during the summer. He is so wonderful and I could not ask for a better husband. We own a poulty farm, which takes up a lot of our time, mostly his. We are now expecting our first child and I can not do as many of the physical things I once did on the farm. So I stay in the house and clean and cook and everything else while he's working on the farm. We have not had a lot of time together recently, which I think is good for us, because it makes the time we have together every night that much better.On to my question....the other night, we were at a friend's house playing the Wii. He did his own thing with the guys (out back grilling and working on a car etc.) while i stayed inside with the girls 2 who are moms and another friend who is also expecting. I was doing my own thing, playing the Wii with the girls, and the guys came in and the other father-to-be started talking about how bad his pregnant wife has been, saying she's moody and whiny and getting clingy. my husband has told numerous people that i have no raging pregnancy hormones (and i havent which is good! lol) but when the other guy said the word "clingy" my husband said, "So that's where that comes from?" I asked him, "You think i'm clingy?" he said "well you were clingy even before we were married" I dropped the subject there and kept doing my own thing. But on the way home that night and ever since, it has bothered me beyond belief, and I don't let little things like that get to me. He has never complained before. i always let him go do his own thing, and he's always asking me to go places with him, i never invite myself. most people will associate the word "clingy" as being a negative thing, and if i'm being clingy, i dont want to suffocate him. i asked him yesterday "Honey, how have i been clingy? i want to fix it" he said he was just kidding when he said it. then i said "i dont mean to be clingy. i didnt even realize-you've never said anything about it. i'm sure you dont want me to be cold and distant like all the other girls in your past" he replied "no i just want to love you and i'd rather you be clingy or close than cold and distant"Was he really kidding? Or was he being serious? I mean, he said it in front of our friends, and that's the first time he's ever said that about me at all. He's never even hinted at it. I know i do text him a lot sometimes, but he's never complained about that either. He's my husband, and we're always together when we're at home, so how am i being clingy, and should i start distancing myself? I don't want to be overly distant with a baby on the way. Maybe i'm just overanalyzing the situation.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (4 January 2010):
I think you are over analysing a bit, but to be fair it was mean of him to say something like that and make you wonder.
You say his previous girls have been very distant... it could be that if you are normal he thinks you are clingy compared to them, if you see what I mean?
I would carry on as you are but make sure you have your own friends and interests and hobbies.
He obviously doesn't mean anything in a bad way because he wouldn't have married you if he didn't love you the way you were.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Melys  +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Hi there,I think you are over rationalizing things....your husband quite clearly loves you and is devoted to you! Plus he did explain himself when you asked him if you were clingy...I'm sure if you were clingy and it bothered him, you'd be able to tell!Just be happy and thankful for your wonderful marriage!Take care
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