A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so i have been married for 3yrs and have a 1yr old girl my husband overprotects her give her anything to eat and is always playing her now my problem is that i feel like we are just parents we forgot our relationship i feel so lonely all i do is cook and clean and i cant play with her cause he has her so attached that she will cry with me. his mom came to visit us and she said she will take care of the baby for us to go out to the movies to have some Alone time he didnt want to leave the baby sometime i feel like having an affair not somebody thats all the time overprotecting the baby its gotten so ridiculous we cant even have sex or eat together anymore im sooooo tired of feeling like this we were going on vacation and his family said they will stay with the baby and we could go out and eat and stay in a hotel for us to have time together he said he was gonna take our baby too...so whats gonna happen when she grows up shes gonna be in the room when we have sex too im tired...sorry its so long but i really need somebody to talk to...
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female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (3 August 2010):
i think you both need to grow up~ hes going to make you end up rejecting your own child because of his childish ways boy better you then me i would have already had him sign divorce papers that is so messed up and you are so tied up in how much attention he is giving ya'lls daughter you all need counseling.
A
female
reader, Angelicc  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Before you go elsewhere for comfort, speak to your husband, confront him that it forgetting his a husband as well as a father.
Sit him down and air out your feelings, give him the chance the change to be the man he was before you had your baby. I'm sure he's never realised, and once you point it out he'll try for the better. You at least own him that him being you husband.
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A
female
reader, howcomehoney  +, writes (3 August 2010):
 Does your husband have a job? If I understand correctly, you stay at home with the kid, but I can't tell what he does.
This is interesting because most of the time, this kind of problem comes from the man's side of things. A lot of men feel pushed aside after having children, because they feel as though they have been replaced in their wife's affection. In your couple, it's the opposite. We are so used to the stereotypical roles in couples that it can come as a surprise to find a man being more of a "mother", although really it shouldn't.
You need to talk to him about how you feel. If he's working and you're not, maybe it could start being the other way around - he could be a stay-at-home father and you could be going out to work. That way you'd have some breathing space and some time with other people, and when you came home in the evening he would be relieved to have some adult company.
It also sounds as though you need to work on your own relationship with your daughter. Send your husband out sometimes and have some alone time with the kid. Both you and your husband have so many different things to offer her. You say that you feel lonely because he has her so attached to him that she cries with you - build your relationship with her.
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