A
female
age
41-50,
*az73
writes: I've been with my partner since we were 16, We're now both nearly 36. We have 3 children together. I found out recently that he was cheating on me with a 20 year old girl. When I confronted him, he admitted he'd slept with (no contraception but he's had the snip). He also then admitted to sleeping with someone else when i was carrying our youngest child (again no contraception, but hadn't had the snip). After everything I said I'd forgive him and stay with him, not just because I love him so much, but also for the sake of our children. He then told me that he wasn't in love with me anymore, so left anyway. Since he's gone, I've found out that he slept with another different girl when I was pregnant with our youngest. After all this, I still love him and want him back. I can't move on and don't know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): Give yourself time to move on. There is no reason why he would not cheat on you time and time again if you had him back as he would think he can get away with it. He is a fool to throw away the love of a good woman and a stable family life with three children. It matters not whether he had the snip whilst sleeping around. The contraception is not the issue but in reverse he was not protecting himself from an STI (by using a condom) and therefore putting you at risk (assuming you had a sex life). Men can be very selfish around the time a woman is most vulnerable and pregnant. You will hurt but he has said how he feels and the best thing you can do is get as much support as you can from family and friends and keep your dignity in tact. He will always have to live with the guilt of what he has done - that is a much bigger prison sentence.
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