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anonymous
writes: My Husband has a gambling ProblemWe have been married for almost a yearand have a 5 month old with him and I have a 5 year old, and did not know he gambles online. We are in alot of debt, and he has lied to me about him not getting a bouns, and just the other day he told me that he is getting a bouns he is just going to use it to pay off his debt on gambling. He says he doesn't have an addiction , but he just thinks that I was born yesterday and I don't know what he is up to. He got money form his mom to cover up our account on what he does with gambling. His mom told me about this just the other day. He didn't even tell me what going on. I just wish he would not do things behind my back. I am just so angry with him but I am trying to be supportive. He said he was done but last night when I walked in he was playing on-line poker. He just doen't know that if he doesn't get it togethter, I will leave and he can be in debt all he wants. I just don't know what to do, I feel guilty when I buy myself somthing and he is just throwing our money out the window, and it isn't fair to me nor our kids. Please help!!!!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008): your husband will lie cheat and do anything to get what he wants and that is a window to gamble and feel like he belongs and has a purpose, I HAVE BEEN A POKER PLAYER ONLINE FOR FIVE YEARS I AM WELL AHEAD AND IVE SPENT YEARS GETTING A GOOD GAME TOGETHER, BUT ALL THE BOOKS IN THE WORLD WONT MAKE YOU A STAR, I EARN 200 POUNDS A DAY IM A PRO I SUPPOSE BUT IT WASENT ALWAYS THAT WAY I HAD MANY DARK DAYS WHEN I WONDERED IF IT WAS WORTH IT, IF YOUR HUSBAND LOSES ALL THE TIME ITS BECAUSE HES NO GOOD AND HE HASENT THE SKILL AND DISAPLIN TO PLAY ITS A HARD GAME, MY ADVICE IS GET HIM TO GIVE YOU A SEPARATE BANK ACCOUNT FOR YOUR SELF AND MAKE HIM STAND ALONE WITH HIS SHARE OF YOUR SPARE MONEY IF HE CAN PLAY HE WILL WIN AND BE LIKE ME IF HE CANT HE WILL LOSE EVERY PENNY HE HAS BUT YOU WONT SUFFER IF HE LOVES YOU AND IS NORMAL HE WILL DO THIS IF HES A TOSSER HE WILL NOT, IF HE AGREES DO IT IF HE DOSENT LEAVE HIM OR YOU WILL BE THE GIRL ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN.IF YOU GO ONTO A SITE CALLED SHARKSCOPE YOU CAN PUT HIS PLAYER NAME IN AND THE SITE HE PLAYS ON AND IT WILL SHOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH HE IS INFRONT OR BEHIND IF THAT DOSENT DO IT IF HES LOSEING THOUSANDS THEN LEAVE YOU WILL END UP BEING EVICTED FROM YOUR HOME AND SUFFERING IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAYS SORRY TO BE BLUNT BUT IM TELLING YOU HOW IT IS SORRY FOR YOU BUT YOU HAVE TO GET OUT OR YOUR CHILDREN WILL SEE YOU AS A MUG AS THEY GET OLDER AND COPY HIS DOORMATE STYLE OF USEING YOU AND TREAT YOU LIKE RUBBISH THE ANSWER TO YOU PROBLEM IS IN YOU WHAT ARE YOU WORTH ANSWER THAT AND TAKE THE STEPS TO DELIVER YOURSELF A LIFE YOU DESERVE AND IF ITS TEN MINETS IN THE SACK THAT COMES WHEN THERE IS NO MONEY TO PLAY POKER THEN YOU ARE A FOOL AND DESERVE WHAT YOU HAVE IF YOU CAN SEE PAST SEXUAL NEEDS AND WANT YOUR LIFE BACK OPEN THE DOOR WALK OUT START AGAIN AND RELY ON YOURSELF ITS THE ONLY WAY BEST OF LUCK JOHN
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female
reader, Annie247  +, writes (26 November 2007):
i am in the exact same position! my husband is a terrible gambler, £50k in a matter of months, and he complains when i spend money on food shopping! He is sooo nice when he's won at poker, but an abusive creep when he loses, which is a lot of the time. i constantly hear "No more gambling, thats it!" then 1 week later and he's back on. a Psychologist once told me "someone with an addictive personality may stop one addiction, but will start another.." so its kind of a vicious circle... i have been telling myself id leave him for 3 years now, if he doesnt stop, but he doesnt take me seriously anymore and i cant blame him because im still here! Why are these men so horrid to us? We have our children to look after and just want to protect them, soon enough they will know what kind of a father they have and i know they will be disgusted we put up with it for so long. Just go with your heart, i hope your husband does stop, but in my opinion once a gambler always a gambler and it is a rotten trait to have. they are just selfish till the end. do whatever you can to protect your children because they dont deserve to share the same worry that us mothers have to deal with not knowing what mood our husbands will be in or if we have enough money for nappies today.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2007): Although my boyfriend of 3 years is honest about the money he sends it isn't any better...He has been an addict since we met...I didn't find out right away but when I did I didn't think it was a big deal...but it is...it effects every aspect of our life together..."can't go out today cos he lost money gambling and has to make it up gambling some more" "can't have sex today...too stressed because I lost gambling" "you came on line today and talked to me while gambling and now I lost all my money" I've heard it all...I'm bad luck, every time he's in a relationship he looses money. Ahhh...it is so stressful but I do love him...he is the kindest person ever unless he is losing at poker. He has never stolen or borrowed money to play but he does blow his money which is stressful...and its always someone else's fault...not his for playing...i don't know how much I can take sometimes I feel like leaving...but I'm worried what might happen to him if I do...I suggest help...but it doesn't work...my advice...tell him to either give it up or leave...its hard but you have a baby...what happens when he can't pay the bills...you're homeless with kids...nope!!! Don't let it happen!!Well good luck with whatever you choose to do!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2007): your husband obviously has no fear of losing his wife and child which shows he really cannot control his addiction to poker the denial he has is a form of defence everytime you say he has a problem in his head he is making excuses for why he is a poker addict the relationship is going one way.......... thats the wrong way and you need to realise that yourself and your child deserve so much more until he realises he has a problem you cant help in any way i wish you luck with your marriage and i hope your husband soon wakes up to what he is risking everytime he logs on ........
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female
reader, beenthere +, writes (19 December 2005):
i know how you feel. my 2 children are of similar ages so i know the kind of costs you are having to meet for them. and my partner is addicted to the computer. you need to tell your husband that you will leave if he doesn't get help. it is an addiction. he would be able to stop and would not keep it secret if it wasn't. tell him you will help him to overcome it and explain that you need the money he's wasting to pay for things for the children. if he's doing it because he's bored or doesn't know what to do, ask him to be more involved with the children. i'm sure they could occupy him!
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