A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My husband makes fun of me when my dress get up my knees while doing chores etc. This upsets me because it only happens within our home not anywhere outside or when in front of others. I am usually very careful but sometimes it happens. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2022): P.S.
Please comeback as often as you need to. Vent your feelings, and let us know how you're doing. If need be, let your mom know if you feel you need to see a therapist, or just need to have few talks with a counselor. It's a lot to take-in, and I know you don't know what to say or do to help you mother through her pain. You're not expected to, because you're a kid. Your mother has her parents, family, maybe she has siblings, and friends. They are all combined to be her support-system; taking some of the heavy-weight off her and you kids; and giving her some emotional-relief as things progress.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2022): Do your best to make light of it. You didn't describe what it is that he says; so it's hard to determine if he is being belligerent or mean-spirited. It's not unusual for married-people to tease and make fun of each-other in an affectionate way; but if your husband only teases you about your knees, it seems playful. I'd be concerned if he made insulting comments about your body or appearance; but that's not what you've expressed in your post. What did you leave-out?
You could always wear jeans, yoga pants, loose long-pants, or a long apron when doing your housework; otherwise, ignore him. He gets no fun out of it, if he doesn't get a rise out of you. Make fun of something he's sensitive about. Even the score. Be playful, not vindictive; if he's just a big joker, and likes to playfully pick on you. It's a form of attention, any-way you look at it. Does he like teasing everyone, or just you?
If he's being passive-aggressive; and he's actually scolding you about being less than modest, then cover-up when he's around.
You're a grown-woman, and you should tell your husband when to knock-it-off; if he is purposely hurting your feelings. If you're asking for our advice, you'll have to have the courage to carry it out, when dealing with your husband. Otherwise, you may as well grit your teeth; and just bear it and be silent. Unless you have the ability to use mental-telepathy to make him read your mind; you may just have to speak-up. There may be no advice we can offer; if you're so intimidated or subservient to your husband, that you probably won't do anything anyway. At least you got to vent your feelings here. If he doesn't know it hurts your feelings, maybe you should tell him.
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A
female
reader, QueenCupcake  +, writes (4 May 2022):
 I think he’s just joking around with you and teasing you, I don’t think he’s trying to upset you. Obviously, he’s not going to see it when you’re out and about, because it’s not really appropriate. If it really is bothering you, you can just ask him to stop as it makes you feel embarrassed or whatever, but personally, I think you could have a bit of fun with this. Next time, he says anything, just say something along the lines of, “well you’ve seen it all before anyway”
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2022): Wear trousers.Sweatpants or leggings or jeans, stuff like that.They are also way more comfortable to wear when you are doing chores.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (4 May 2022):
 Sounds like he is only having a playful joke within the confines of your own home, i'm guessing he would not do this if you were out. But as you say this never happens when you are out, or when you are in front of others, maybe because your not doing chores when you are out or with others.
All you can do is tell him so stop doing this because it upsets you. Also you could do the chores at a different time, or when he is out of the house. Also just for the chores you could opt for some different clothing, some trousers or leggings or something, you are only at home after all.
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