A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:How dare he spread so many lies about me to cover up his own lies!Me and my husband have been together 3years and have a son. we've had alot of ups and downs. mainly his lying and flirting/suspected cheating. I havent physically caught him cheating but iv read texts etc.yesterday we went to visit his grandma who i havent seen in a year, shes 80yrs old. She said to me "your looking so well, im so pleased. After what you've been through, im glad your feeling/looking well" i didnt get what she meant and then we was chatting and she said something about she had the same after she had her baby and how isolated and down she felt, then it clicked. My husband must have told her i had postnatal depression! I am so fuming. I have never had postnatal depression!Iv been depressed since i was 12years old due to bullying but i got better from the age of 17/18, but it came back soon after i got with my husband at 19yrs old. mainly because of the way he treats me, hes a compulsive liar, hes cheated on me, hes emotionally/mentally abused me, making things out to be my fault and then when i was 4months pregnant my world fell apart. I was so happy, i was at college, lovely friends. then my best friend tried it on with him (not that he said no, he flirted back) i lost all my friends because they took her side, i had left college and they saw her every day - easy option.anyway since i had my son, i havent had a break, i have no friends, dont talk to family, im litterally a mum 24/7. most mums have friends to go out with (even if they take baby) and have family support. Iv had nothing, i havent spend 1day without my son in 18months, its been hard espec as he had colic until he was 7ish months, but iv managed, im terrified to make new friends as i trust no-one anymore, ill probably never trust anyone again to be honest. Im kind of in my own little bubble, i see people as people who are going to hurt me.so you see iv been depressed with life, not my baby! my sons all that matters. But my husband seems to be telling his family and friends lies to cover his own ass and im so fuming! his gran doesnt know hes cheated on me, lied to me, makes me feel like crap, bullys me, hurts me (physically twice and mentally) hes told his friend i pay for nothing yet im a housewife but still managed to pay for 3/4 of the materialistic things in our house. what do i do? i wanted to tell her but i cant be bothered to start any more arguments, im exhusted with it all, but its really bothering me. how can he just sit there and lie? telling people iv got the baby blues when hes the one thats done this to me?! theres a big difference betwen postnatal depression and depression due to other causes. please help!ps: dont give me a lecture saying i should leave. I need practical advice, with no friends and no family, him and my son's all iv got :( i know i should leave but i dont have the strength, im so worn down and exhusted emotionally. if i were to leave who would help me? who would i go to? i dont want to be on the streets with a baby.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2011): This must be a horrible time for you and really difficult. I do not understand him but I know you say you do not want to be told you need to leave him but that is exactly what you need to do, not only for yourself but for your baby too. Can't you go to your local council and see if they can help you in anyway? Or maybe to you rlocal housing assosiation. If not then what about going to your doctor and seeing if they can help, maybe they will be able to refer you or help you in some way. Sorry I can't be of more help but I wish you and your baby all the look in the world!
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