A
female
age
,
*lowerlady
writes: My husband left me 5 months ago.I came home from work and my husband was gone,I haven't heard a word from him.His family knows where he is at but they won't let me contact him.What do I do. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, didda123  +, writes (8 February 2009):
 I know it is not always easy to move on you need time to heal and whatever it takes to get you through this bad time you must do.
I would definately pack all his things up and if you know when he is coming over you can leave his stuff outside of your house so he has no need to come in and collect them, you don't need this upset anymore and hopefully he will understand.
I can imagine you don't feel like meeting new people at the moment and even though you have been parted for some time now it is still difficult to come to terms with what has happened and it will take you time to sort things out in your own head, though given a little time things will become much easier and then you will be able to start rebuilding your life.
Do surround yourself with the people who matter to you and they will help you through this difficult patch, it will take time but eventually you will begin to miss him less as even though he has turned out to be a bad part of your life you will still miss him and have a void that needs healing x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): You're going to be O.k. It's really sad you miss him after the way he's treated you. It almost seems like a mother/son relationship, and he's letting his parents run his life. How miserable! You need to start 'loving' yourself. Do things that make you feel loved. Be around people that care about you, and you'll think of him less and less.One thing I would DEFINITELY be doing is packing his things in boxes. He shouldn't dare be taking your special things. When you 'clean house' of his stuff, you can get real closure. It won't be easy, but you will feel so much better and it will REALLY help you move on. As time goes by, you'll look back and be grateful he (and his family) aren't using you and ruining your life. take care
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A
female
reader, flowerlady +, writes (8 February 2009):
flowerlady is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well it isn't over yet.Since I haven't recieved divorce papers.And he wants to come over to pick up some stupid things he forgot to take.I really don't want him to come over since he robbed me when he left.He took things that were left to me when my father died.He is being told what to do by his family and they can be very evil for so called christens,his parents are nasty people,who put on this niceness act.But they are rich white trash.I guess the loneliness is natural,but I don't feel like going out and meeting anyone right now.I am still feeling the hurt,what he has done is very hurtful and I still cry.I need advise and a pick me up.
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (4 February 2009):
Yes thank you for your kind message flowerlady i appreciate your thanks.
I think that the feelings you are having are only natural and they will pass with time though part of your feelings will no doubt be loneliness which can be filled with the company of someone more deserving.
You have been parted now for over 5 months so and I would suggest that you start building a new life for yourself, you need to socialize more with your friends and family but please don't just sit at home, start getting out more, i am around your age 46 and i still go into the local town and really enjoy it with my friends there are plenty of people of the same age out enjoying themselves as well.
Also maybe join a gym you will meet plenty of single people there and if you really throw yourself into it it will help build your self esteem and you will look and feel fabulous about yourself.
I wish you all the luck in the world but i know you will pull through this given a little time i am sure the worst is over now but you will definately have low times so try to keep yourself busy and you won't be able to dwell on things so much and before you know it you will be enjoying your life once again and hopefully it may be even better.
You have plenty to look forward to i am sure x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): Those are normal feelilngs that WILL subside with time. Women get emotionally attached, but as you live your new life with a fresh start, you will blossom into a stronger, better woman...and attract a 'much better' man.
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A
female
reader, flowerlady +, writes (4 February 2009):
flowerlady is verified as being by the original poster of the question Even though I have gotten my closer,and my husband is a coward why do I miss him?I know I am better off with out him but for some reason I really miss him.Is it codependency or the love I have for him.I feel so stupid after all that has happened I miss him.What do I do.............
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A
female
reader, flowerlady +, writes (3 February 2009):
flowerlady is verified as being by the original poster of the question I want to thank you didda123 for your support.It isn't over yet until the divorce and I won't be paying for it.I'm not the one who ran out.I am the kind of women who would work through all things,no matter what.It is his loss not mine.The old saying goes you can't keep a good women down..........
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (2 February 2009):
Well he sounds unbelievable a total coward. You are far better off without him you have already done five months so i think things can only get better now and at least the not knowing is over because that is the worst!
You will need to be strong to get through it but there is far better people out there who deserve your love and will love you dearly so don't spend anymore time sulking over this loser, hold your head up high and move on.
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, flowerlady +, writes (2 February 2009):
flowerlady is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell I talked with husband and it is over,he told me his parents don't like me anymore and he doesn't want to see me.Here is the twist,his parents gave him money to fix up the house,and if I pay them back every cent he'll think about coming home.Well I thought I married a man,not a coward.Also did I say when he left he took all sorts of things even things my dad left me when he died.My husband didn't love me he used me.When the money was gone the love went out the window.............
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (31 January 2009):
Yes i think he will definately be in touch again just be patient. I take it he did he not leave a contact number when he called if not you could get a message to his family asking them to tell him you are willing to talk whenever he is.
Good luck x
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A
female
reader, flowerlady +, writes (31 January 2009):
flowerlady is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well my husband called and left a message telling me we need to talk.After 5 months of no contact what does he have to say.Anyway he never called back do you think he will?????
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (30 January 2009):
Yes you are going to have to meet up with him to get to the bottom of this but it may be bad news.
Whatever happens be strong knowing is much better than what you have just been through and then you are in a much better place to be able to move on.
Hope everything turns out well. Take care x
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A
female
reader, flowerlady +, writes (30 January 2009):
flowerlady is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all,I am sorry for not giving enough information.
Like everyone we were having finanical problems,he got laid off and my flower shop closed.He is a heavy drinker and I found out he was possibably doing drugs.Also his parents don't like me because I am a yankee.They had this girl all picked out for my husband.His exgirlfriend,She never left the rental properties my inlaws own.She married someone else but she was always stirring the pot.My husband called and now left a message we have to talk.Not sounding very positive and no I love you.He has moved back to his rental property and lives across from the exgirl friend and her husband.Now what do i do...........
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (24 January 2009):
Well it depends why you want to contact him. If it's just because you love him and want him back and want answers then unfortunately you have no right to that information.
You can report him missing to the police and they can confirm that he is healthy and alive somewhere to you.
If you have kids / financial things that bind him to you then you can track him down legally.
Just keep asking his family for the information or to try and get them to give you at least a reason for him leaving you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, didda123 +, writes (24 January 2009):
Have you any idea why he would up and leave you and why would his family protect him have they admitted that they know where he is?
How long have you being together? Do you have any children with your husband and if so has he been in touch with them at all? What about work does he have a job which he is still going to or other friends who may be more helpful to you? You have given very limited information so it is difficult to weigh up the situation.
You will have to try to speak to his family again if that is your only port of call but to be honest if he can just up and go like that he is hardly worth it putting you through all this stress.
Whatever reason he has left you for it would have been alot more decent to let you know beforehand at least you could move on although it would also have been extremely painful but the not knowing must be driving you mad.
I doubt the police would get involved as it is not as if he is a missing person if his family are aware of his whereabouts.
I can only offer you my sympathy and tell you to try to do things which will occupy your mind and maybe involve yourself with your friends as i am sure you are in a bid to moving on since being thrown into a horrible situation.
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