A
female
age
41-50,
*impi
writes:Hi I am a 33 year old female and have a very complicated problem.My husband used to threaten all the time to leave when we had a fight. I would always request, beg and pacify. The day I didnt he left home that was 3 months back. I tried to reach him however he is just not interested and said this is the end.In the meantime my first cousin's husband's parents who are very close to my parents have been sharing their son's and my cousin's problems to us (my cousin and her husband have been separated for a year and divorced for 3 months). It so happened that my cousin left home on a quarrel, refused to reconcile and sent divorce papers.Now this cousin is my father's own sister's daughter. Our families have never ben close for some age old property issue, also we lived in different states and countries always. There has been a formal cordial relationship while meeting on common functions or parties, thats is about it. I would have seen my cousin some 20 years ago once for some family occassion. It is obvious I have not seen her husband even I dont know his name. Now the twist is since my cousin's husbnad's were always close to my parents. They have approached my parents to get their son married to me. My parents and I are very interested as in our community to get a good guy at my age and status (divorced) is next to impossibe. This guy is well educated, well settled and ideal. Is is right to get married to him?What do we tell our relatives? I dont have much time to think as this guy will come to our country in another 3-4 months and his parents have decided to get him married then without further delay. I am the first option as they like our family a lot. But if we do not agree to get married by Dec they will shift to another girl.Please help me with mature suggesstions !!!!!! I dont want to lose this guy yet I cant make up my mind wether it will be the right thing to do. Help !!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2011): First you need to divorce your husband. w/o that marriage is not even possible and illegal. it will not sustain. so forget the marriage. First go to court and get the divorce, which it self is not easy.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 September 2011):
 Only you can decide this.
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