A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, My husband has always been jealous, not allowing me to talk to the opposite sex and we have been together since high school and in high school it is hard to avoid talking to just a bunch of people. Anyway, of course he has been upset about me speaking with men, simply just talking. Courteous gestures, work related, passerby, just anything that has to do with a man he wants me no where near. Of course this impossible and unavoidable as hard as I try. Last Thursday we went to our son’s soccer practice and as we were leaving a young man parked next to us. I looked at the car and continued to buckle my son in his car seat. I was talking to my son about soccer practice and it was our last one so I said "say goodbye to this place" he is only 3 and he said goodbye. Well when we got in the car and I said this that young man who had just parked next to us was walking in. And my husband said that I intentionally made JR look towards the building so I can get a good look at that guy that walked by us. Completely untrue, Yes I looked at him when he pulled up and yes I saw him again when I was telling my son to say goodbye to the soccer place. But my husband says I used my son to get a look at this guy. Fast forward to Saturday a friend of his and his GF came over to chill with us while Jr was asleep. We were all talking just BS and my husband started to talk about hunting. His friend said “aww why are you going to kill a poor innocent animal?" and I said "that what I say" and it’s completely true. Ironically I introduced him to hunting b/c of my family but I am 100% against it and will not participate. He got SO upset that I said that and said that I don’t have his back anymore. Saying that his friends girlfriend never agrees with him and never talks to him and that I shouldn’t do that either. So since these two incidences he has been treating me even worse than usual. He keeps saying to me "checking that guy out and what I said to his friend is bothering him" He sat on the couch yesterday all day looking mad as hell not talking to me treating me real ugly and I guess all because of the two things that happened. I did not intend to look at that guy who walked past us and I know for a fact that I was not looking at him for a long time or even in like a dirty way. I simply saw a person walking by and continued to talk to my son. And the thing with his friend I didn’t mean to offend him and make him feel I was not on his side, I just said what I always tell my husband, that I don’t agree with hunting. He is making me out to be a bad wife, one who checks out other guys and flirts with other guys and that is FAR from what I am. He is treating me very ugly since this and causing a bunch of drama! Did I do something wrong? Or is he overreacting?
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female
reader, BunnyAce +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Sounds like a rut in the relationship. But you know what, marrages, relationships, anything with a significant other is going to be overloaded with emotion. When things are good, they are amazing, when things go under the weather, well crap hits the fan.
He is becoming irritable probably because he is feeling uneasy. Then only thing you can do is try to set him straight, and this means taking time to actually sit down together and discus the issue. Show him that you want to be the solution and not cause a problem. This will show him that you are trying to respect his wishes. Guys try to act tuff, but in reality, they are probably more sensitive than us females.
I have similar problems like this with my boyfriend, but how we fix it is we sit down and draw a line...literally, on a piece of paper and write down what we both think is acceptable of one another. This equals an even standard. I HATE double standards. So make sure that things are neutral on either side. As long as that balance is there, you will both feel at ease and have something to refer to when one another is getting a little out of control.
If you make this effort to come to even ends, you are not a bad wife at all. Remember, your husband is supposed to be your best friend, you should be able to talk to him about anything =) Good luck!
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