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anonymous
writes: What would you do, if your husband , suddenly becomes impotent , but you don't know why?My husband got impotent ,pretty suddenly ,after he lost his erection middle of intercourse a few years ago .Since than , he can;t get a normal erection. He also has no desire for sex at all. And, he was very horny ,for 20 years,before this...Well, he went to doctors , psychologist too, but they don't know what is going on with him.They know ,he is in perfect health, what suggest it is psychological issue.So this is a mystery. I don't know what to think. We are 100% sexless now, since 47. So , what could be wrong here?Thanks for listening.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2011): If doctor's are telling him he's fine, they are not doing their job. He has had a sudden and complete dropoff in his libido and performance...that totally sounds like low testosterone, perhaps coupled with some mid-life issues. It happened to me, and I got the same crap from my first doctor.."you're fine" this is normal. Went to a second doctor who ran tests. My T was normal, but he told me to take a multivitamin with more zinc. I also started taking a male herbal supplement with Terrestris tribulis...a natural testosterone stimulant. THe results were pretty amazing. Exercise, sleep, a good diet and low stress also help normal function. But as we get older, it can take a little work to keep the sex drive in check. It isn't on autopilot your whole life like it is in your 20's.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): Very likely, he is emotionally blocking himself from you.It is very tricky, I knew someone like that before, and this is a very painful thing for you to go through. Because, you don't know what is really thinking deep down, some people are really good at digging away mayor emotions. Ask him, to go to therapy, or no life together. Take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): Has he tried Viagra? Or is he uninterested in the idea of that? If hes getting erections during the night or early mornings then everything is working ok. Does he spends a lot of his free time online? Stay up late on the pc?
If there is nothing physically wrong with him, then it might be a problem within the relationship that hes not willing to talk about. He might be detaching himself by shutting down the intimate side of the relationship. Its a subtle way of leaving without actually going anywhere. So he still gets the home comforts and no dramas!
If hes prepared to try it, couples counselling might help shed some light on whats going on with him.
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reader, oneguy  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 I'm very positive it is an extreme emotion that suddenly snapped him.Fear, anger? Did someone betray him? Did you get some information at around that time that shocked and dismayed him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): Yes....( I was writing this post)Why?
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): It might be a good idea to see other doctors for different opinions.
There can be many many reasons for this.
The only thing I am able to tell you is that you shouldn't be 100% sexless, there are many sexual things you can still do together without reaching climax, there's a lot of touching, using toys, kissing -that can be done, that can make both of you feel good, even if he doesn't finish off, but you can. That's at least what I'd do.
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reader, eddie85 +, writes (7 April 2011):
 My guess is that either:
1) He has a mental hang-up that has gotten progressively worse because now he has performance anxiety. In which case, he is using disinterest as an excuse for trying?
2) It is hormonal. Has his testosterone been tested?
3) It could be physical, in which case he might want to consider doing some exercise.
Most guys don't lose interest in sex -- we are pretty hard-wired to want it a lot. But my guess is that your husband has reached an age and hormonally things have changed.
I'd try not to take it personally and if your needs are going unfulfilled, perhaps he could pleasure you orally or manually.
Good luck.
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reader, inhibited  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 Does he get erections whilst asleep?
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