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anonymous
writes: I have been married to my husband for 2 years. Our marriage has had more downs that ups, we fight alot. I sometimes feel that my husband cares more about his image with his friends than about our marriage. For example, the other night we went out to the bar to have a few drinks with one of his friends. My husband ended up buying drinks for two other girls that were there. He also paid for their pool table all night. For the majority of the night, he was talking with these girls, which left me alone at the table. A few guys came over to buy me drinks and ask me to dance, but my answer was "I'm sorry, I'm married". I finally went to my husband and told him that it's not right for him to buy other girls drinks, especially when his wife is right there. He said "I'm just being a good friend". This isn't okay with me. Am I wrong?? As if that isn't bad enough, I have recently had dreams of cheating on my husband with one of his other friends. My husbands friend used to live with us and we spent a lot of time together, as friends. We get along great and I have always thought he was a great guy, I have even tried hooking him up with a few of my friends. Since the dreams started, I have been really attracted to my husbands friend, and he seems to be interested in me too. We flirt alot, it just seems that his friend and I get along so much better than I do with my husband. I don’t know if I am just crying for attention that my husband doesn't give me, or if I really do have feelings for my husbands friend. Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2005): I think you should go ahead and do what your heart tells you. Don't reject the idea of having an affair with your husband's friend if he seems to care for you. Trying to be happy and fighting for that is a natural right. There is just one life.The way you've been feeling with your marriage is not gonna improve unless your husband realizes that you are 100% worth it, and so far he hasn't shown like he cares. You've beenneglected and even put aside... Those situations are just going to build up and won't change. he is taking you for granted.Who knows, you might even find out that your husband is in your life just as a way to link yourself with that of this other guy.Women tend to take things too seriously. When he was paying other girls drinks, you were saying you were married... You said you've been married for two years?... Well, hopefully it is not gonna take you forever to find out what your heart is trying to tell you.
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