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anonymous
writes:
I am sure this has happened many times before with other couples. We find that after a 35year marriage, we have drifted in so much as he has found a new mate who shares his passionate sporting interest.
They have been aware of each other's feelings over the last twelve years, and now our children have grown up and are independent, my husband has felt free to fall in love with her - hard!
He says that the best he can do is to hope that his feelings for her will fade, as he has no intentions of moving out and wants his home and family life to remain as is.
I am gutted and terribly lonely inside. I have known for over a year now, and he will not give her up, saying that if he did, he would only be miserable and she would be hysterical, and none of us would be better off. He seems to think that this love will fizzle out at some point in the future. He is an Aries, so that tells a lot!
I understand what he says, and although he says he will move out if he must, I am not sure that I can live happily with or without him??
Having really suffered for since last August (he is very kind and considerate in every other way to me and very compassionate - he says he still thinks the world of me and loves everyone and everything in his working world), I don't know how much longer I can hold on.
Our lives are complicated more with a family business run from home and his work is the most important thing in his life as I suppose it's his way of looking after his loved ones and providing for them (me).
Although I am trying still to get my head round it, we have all three of us been on the verge of insanity, as there seems to be no answer.
Can you give me a guiding light?
I should be so grateful for an unbiased opinion. I am a Cancerian, the mistress is a Virgo (I am almost sure).
Hope you can help in some way. W.
P.S. I am trying to get my life going in the hope I can get out of this depressing scenario, but at 56 this is hard to do.
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female
reader, x-Angel-x  +, writes (5 September 2009):
 If i were you i would call it a day.He can't have to his cake and eat it too.Give him an ultimatum,its either you or her... Don't give up on finding love again at your age,it is possible.Good luck in life
Angel*
A
male
reader, harshbutfair  +, writes (18 April 2005):
 You are on the right tracks. Start building up YOUR life. Your friends, your interests, your sports, your male friends... That way, IF the relationship burns up - you won't be sat at home each day wishing things were different.
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