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anonymous
writes:
i had a whirlwind romance with a crazy man who I fell madly in love with during the summer off this year who did the usual intense stuff asking me 2 marry him and have his child within the first few weeks of meeting him.He has 4 children already with two different partners and is a divorced from another woman.He is also an alcoholic.He is an incredible womaniser but a rubbish lover how he has managed the two simultaneously is an incredible feat.Though i'm luckily not pregnant the shadow of STD's hangs over me.I have tried 2 move on but we live in close proximity of each other and there seems 2 be an invisible thread that draws me towards him, even though he dumped me a while back on the same day we were attempting 2 conceive a child together.I have met another man who appears kind, romantic,adventurous,and fun but I can't forget my past lover.He has at least two other women in his life,and wants me to have sex with him at his convenience.I know he's not right for me,but what can I do?Shall I still date the new man hoping something magical will happen?or hang onto a dismal thread of hope that the whirlwind romance ever becomes real again?
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alcoholic, conceive, divorce, move on, std, womaniser Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2004):
In your case, I think it brutal that I am straight to the point:
1. Call your Dr to find out details of your local GUM clinic and book
in to be tested for any STD's this man may have passed on to you.
Above all, you and your health are more important than anything else
in life.
2. Forget this looser, you are in charge of your own destiny, you must
move on and banish his negative impact on your life, and your physical
and pyschological well-being. He clearly has major issues in every
area of his life, and frankly my dear, is not and never will be the
man for you. How do I know this? the answer is simple, the foundation
of every good relationship lies in the bedroom, and aside from all his
other faults (which are many) you admit that he is a rubbish lover.
3. Rejoice in your single status and the fact that should you choose
to spend time with the more suitable man you describe, that is
entirely at your discretion, or should you choose to spend time
nurturing yourself then that is perfectly acceptable. You are the
most important thing in the world to you, treat yourself in that way,
in the words of Gerry Halliwell, "we all need a hug sometimes, give
yourself a big hug" and celebrate the new positive single you, take
charge, be in control, do what YOU want when YOU want to, and see who
YOU want to see. Be your own best friend and only put yourself in
situations that will be enjoyable beneficial experiences, you'll love
what you find....
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2005): You do not choose who you fall in love with, but you should also know that love does not hurt. Take time out of this relationship to build your self confidence up. Re-discover and love yourself first and then you will know that what you have with this man is not love at all. You should be smart enough to know that this man is not right for you and if he loves you he will not put you all through the hurt his womanising is causing you. Get out of the relationship, he is not worth it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2004): get tested for all possible std's. this is confidential always. you may be surprised to find out that you don't have any. and about the thread cut it before you become involved in a relationship with no meaning. to me it sounds as if he gets with women and gets them pregnant and leaves for another. do not fall for this trap for the only one who will not be happy will be you. give love time to come to you. don't try to find it. it will come to you in due time. otherwise date and have fun. just beware of men who say they want to get married and have children before you have even been together for a few months or a few years. cause these men are most generally not happy with their life styles so they try to make themselves happy however it is they can whether it hurts someone else or not. I KNOW I HAVE BEEN THERE
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