A
female
age
36-40,
*hateverMovesThee
writes:I love my boyfriend and I know this because seeing him happy and smiling warms my heart. I respect him as a person, a man... His flaws are a part of him and I accept them as he accepts mine. I don't look for other men and just holding his hand contents and soothes me. I haven't told him how I feel...I am turning 19 in the late fall and he is turning 35 next year. I start college in the spring. After two years, I will be working as a RN. I'm fearful. Age will be a concern now because he's been there, done that. I'm not a partier, a cheater etc. I'd like to make this work. If it doesn't, I don't want it to be because I didn't try. We never thought we'd be. He warned me away from him at first especially since I was a virgin. And I didn't trust men. But, here we are. We have a connection thats almost frightening sometimes. How can we stay together? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2010): relationships are hard work, start doing the work! Sounds like fear has gripped you and is in control in your head. Don't let that happen! We all spend too much of our lives worrying about the "what ifs" - 99.9% of which never happen, but we dedicate hours / days /weeks screwed up by the fear.
Communication is key in any relationship, then working together to form a real bond and love. It's work, but well worth it.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 September 2010):
 Yes, he's been there and done that. But he hasn't been there and done that with you. And every relationship is different. It's possible that he's in a different place in life than you are, but that's really up to you.
The big concern is your schooling. If you want to stay with him, make sure that he supports your future and your dreams. It's easy with a guy to go off track and be distracted by his impatience to settle down in life. You have to be sure of what you want. It all boils down to your vision for your future.
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A
female
reader, LaughAlot2010 +, writes (10 September 2010):
 I truly think that if you guys really love each other and you have those feelings then you will stay together. If not, thats just a sign you guys know whats best. Long distance relationships are hard and confusing, but you have to learn to trust. Sure mistakes happen, but it happens in life to everyone. Well I hope this helps. Hope you guys do whats best! (:
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