A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has told me he wants to take on a second job, being a video game tester, eventually going into it full-time because he's getting fed up with the way his job is and the job market is right now.I've heard however, that it's all hard work and no glamor; he claims "I worked on a construction site once when I was 21, it wasn't glamor, either".I don't know much on video game testing or the video game industry, but I work as a copyright attorney so this sort of thing doesn't come into my job, and I don't follow video game news.I'm the one who earns most in our house, he earns less than me, he works as a delivery driver for now due to losing his job because of COVID layoffs.He told me that being a video game tester's not meant to be a permanent job but would be better than being a delivery driver, no need for masking up and social distancing.Video games are a newfound thing for him, not a hobby he's had for years.I'm concerned about this, having only done basic research and found it becomes a job most people won't enjoy doing.Isn't this arguably worse than his current job?I'm worrying about bills and finances here, as it's a job, sure, but it means I become the breadwinner now. Which I already am.Should I have the right to be concerned over this?I can't stop him, but I've already got enough work stress to deal with over a big new contract and sorting out rights issues for a major company in our area.I could Google video game tester, but I don't know what to look for or how to avoid misinformation on this, and what could the reality be like for my husband if he did become one?I've asked him why he did this, he said he needed a brief job change, but wouldn't say any more than that.He seems to think he can be both delivery driver and video game tester, but where does that leave time for spending time with me and a personal life?Surely he'll be stressed AF doing two jobs, one outside and one from home.There is a significant class difference between us, FWIW; I'm from a rich Westernized Chinese-American family, he's from a poor NYC family in the Bronx and is white, we met in my hometown in Texas around 15 years ago when he was a student here and have been together ever since. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2022): You fear what you don't know yet there is a logic to your husband's gaming idea.I think it will be difficult for him to give up the gaming because it is addictive.For all you know he may be very good at it.There is also money in this arena if you can prove your worth.I think he will want to leave you if you treat him like a child and tell him what to do and not do.This could be the root of your anxiety.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (17 April 2022):
 As you mention the difference in your wages a couple of times, I have to assume you are resentful that you are currently the main wage earner in your relationship. It sounds from your post like your husband was previously on a higher wage than you, which you were ok with, presumably because he is a male? Surely a marriage is a partnership (for richer, for poorer?) and it doesn't matter who is earning the higher wage, as long as both parties are pulling their weight?
Your husband doesn't plan on dropping his current (low paid) delivery job to take up this new job. He just wants to try it out alongside his current job to see how it goes. Like you, I have very limited knowledge of this market, but suspect, as a newbie to gaming, he will not find it that easy to get a job in this area.
I think you are jumping the gun here a little. Firstly, he has to actually find a job testing games, which may not be that easy. Secondly, if/when he gets chance to give it a go, that will be the time to have the discussion with him about whether this is a good move.
If the difference in your wage earning abilities bothers you so much, perhaps this is something you should have considered before you got married? Is money the only thing he contributes to your relationship? If you only see his worth in terms of how much money he can earn, then your relationship is built on very rocky foundations, especially given the current economic situation.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2022): Your husband is having a tough time. You don't mention his level of education (you just say that you met when he was a student) or what his previous job had been, so it's difficult to say what he could be trying to do at this moment.If I'm being honest, it doesn't sound well thought out. I teach students who major in software development and from what I hear about tester jobs, it’s either something you do when you’re crazy about video-games and already have a lot of experience and can really be of help to developers (which means better pay) or you dabble with it for a while just to have fun, without any expectations when it comes to financial gain, because most of the time people in this situation would do it for free anyway.Whatever happens, make sure that he knows how you feel about his choices. Do not bottle it up. It’s bound to come out, one way or another, at least be in control and chose a loving way to do it.Could it be that you think that your husband has gotten too comfortable in a situation where you are the main earner (which basically means that all your expenses are covered) so that he can just do whatever he likes? Maybe it’s just a phase that he needs to go through to work some things out?
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