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male
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anonymous
writes: dear cupid i wondered if you could help me. i have been hurt in the past by an old girlfriend and now that im starting to see someone else i'm finding it realy hard to trust my new partner. she always says that she loves me and that she wont do to me what my last one did, but its realy hard to be able to trust her. i love her so much and i know that this is starting to affect use both. i realy dont want to lose her because shes fantastic but i know that one day i'll push her away. all i seem to do now is ask her if she loves me and if she wont ever leave me. but i know this must be trying on her. i've started to get butter flys in my belly when ever shes goes any where with her friends, and i,ve never felt like this before and i wish that it would stop. i love her a lot and dont want to lose her so please please help me i realy dont know where to turn. thankyou... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dawnest +, writes (9 January 2006):
Let go of all your past issues as it will always cloud any rlationships you have. remember you can only get hurt if you expect things from the other person they are not ready to give. You should needy and want approval/love and fidelity without taking the time to get to know the women in your life.
A good meaningful relationship has to be nurtured like a plant so take your time getting to know her and in one year, you will know if she is your future or just a practise run.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): I'm not saying you have it, but you should consider reading some websites on Borderline Personality Disorder. It's not an illness - just a set of bad habits brought on by a combination of genetic and environmental factors, and the symptoms of those habits can seriously mess with your life and relationships. Since it's a set of behaviors/thought patterns that's making things tough, some of the tips on how other people have dealt with similar things might help.
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A
female
reader, xxjoannexx +, writes (9 January 2006):
 i know where you coming from. my boyfriend is exactly the same, if i go out, and yes you will push her away as my boyfriend nearly done that.it will make her feel traped and ruled.its hard for yous both but if she says she loves you believe her! when she gose out just try not to think about it cause your mind will play tricks on you.if shes as nice as you say she is dont loose her. hope that helps good luck.x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): "all i seem to do now is ask her if she loves me and if she wont ever leave me. but i know this must be trying on her."
Listen dude...dont be so clingy or possessive, or when she goes out she will be complaining to guys she meets of how needy you are, which is their perfect cue to flirt with her. I have had a loving relationship for a few years now. Tell her you love her, and when she says it to you, you will know if whe means it or not. Be romantic, but not needy and clingy...doesnt really do it for any woman (at least not any I know). I know it seems like the obvious, but if she has given you no reason not to trust her, dont be so suspicious..after all, she hasnt done anything wrong. Leave the past in the past, and learn to trust your new girlfriend who obviously cares a lot for you. When she has had a night out, ask her how it was and what she got up to, but DONT be interrogative. She doenst need to feel guilty about your insecurities, or she will, as you have said your self grow tired of it. Try to go out together sometimes if possible, and have a really great time so shes sees what a great guy you obiously are. Dont be the innocent victim of past relationships. That was then, this is now. Best of Luck.
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