A
female
age
41-50,
*na1981
writes:I have been married for 12 yrs now I am 29yrs old, when i first met my hubby sex was great then we had 2 ids and i am sexualy active and my husband is no longer intrested in sex, i have been looking online for someone for friend with benefit just to release my stress of sex but i just dont have the gut to do that i love mu nybby so much , but with the lack of sex between us is getting me frustrated and i need some seriouse advice he always says that he is too tired from work and he havent sleppt that much, i usually sleep 4-6 hrs and i still have the energy to have sex. i have used vibrators just to get an orgasm but is not the same, what can i do. i want to save my marrage and don't want to cheat but he is pushing me to that point. i hate the routine we have to once every weeks and in the same position, i have tried to to do it different but he want his same position that will only last betweem 6 -10 min and he is done and there will not have again till 3 weeks later or more depends when i get my monthly friend. I am still young and i just want to have a wild night, i hate hearing that my friends have it up to 4-6 days a week and they complain i would like to trade hubby sometimes for a week like that.
View related questions:
orgasm, vibrator Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ana1981 +, writes (12 July 2010):
Ana1981 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have tried talking to him about that subject but he just seems to ignore the question and when we have our time alone i would try to do things to him where he wont think it just straight to sex i want it to go slow, when we do have a chance to talk about that subject his answer is always the same i am just tired from working 10hrs a day and he wants to relax most of the time or hang out with his friends and have a beer, then he comes home and goes straight to sleep and i will be waiting for him at home rom is dark with candles lit i will be in a sexy outfit hair and make up done with a sexy frangrance on and he will start to get in action when he falls asleep, there might be a problem with him but he does not want to tell me what is wrong. I have told my hubby about about going to the doctor and have the doc check him out, but his replies are i am ok there is nothing wrong with me and i dont have to see a doctor. i dont want to have sex a schedule time and date like he haves been doing it for the last 6 yrs. i want it to be something that we can both agree and have a pleasurable sex where we can both enjoy it and dont do the routine that is getting borings at time and i dont want to rely on my vibrator/ dildo - close my eyes and think how sex used to be great before.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): I am a 33 year old single male, believe it or not, I find that once people get into a solid or stable relationship, they get comfortable, and stop the corting process. In my case its usually been the female who has stopped doing what has attracted me to her, but I am quite sure guys can get comfortable, and stop doing the things that attracted her to him. You both must communicate with each other, and "FIND OUT" what turns each other on. I stress find out because that is part of the mystery that keeps things hot, and on the other hand, you have to be willing to do the leg work.
You will have to brace for the emotional impact. I say brace for impact because you may find out some things that may hurt you, you may find out some things you may like, you may find out some things you may dislike. The fact is you are doing this to help the both of you. As a guy, I will not hurt the one I love and, even if it serves as an inconvenience to me. Some people get sexually involved, before getting emotionally, or mentally involved with each other,
If you feel that sex is not in your lives the way it should be, then sit and talk to him, and figure out what you have to do to "PLEASE EACH OTHER". It will take time, and some work.
You cannot go by how often other people have sex, they may have their own rhythm going on, which obviously will not work for you, who knows, they themselves may even be "LIVING A LIE" meaning that they may be lying to themselves, or settling for other things that they are not happy for, just to get 1 thing that they care about the most. Example: I love sex, but I am not going to get involved in a relationship with a person who gives it to me when I want it, but the person does not love me.
Regardless of your findings, and what good or bad they may do to you, they can only help the both of you.
Find out what's on or not on his mind, and you do the same with him.
Find out what he likes and dislikes, and you do the same.
If he is having physical problems, then work with him to get matter straightened out.
Pay attention to his actions, watch his eyes, and stay close to him. Try different things. And believe it or not listen to his heart rate, if his heart is racing chances are if you done something of a sexual nature, then he likes it. Just watch his body language.
These are just a few of the simple things you can do, and they will help you. But remember this, a marriage is a 2 way street, its give and take, you are not in it for you, and he is not in it for himself, you 2 are in it for each other.
Sorry to be so long winded, but matters of the heart cannot be solved in short words, time, shortcuts, or magically. Matters of the heart takes time, work, sweat and a few tears. However if you have anymore questions feel free to ask.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): Hi
Have you been to the doctor with your husband to discuss this? Perhaps a doctor can give some insights.....
...............................
|
