A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:What do men really want in a wife? I’ve been married for only 4 years and I mean I think I’ve lost my husband’s romantic/sexual attention. He sees me as his kid sister. He tells me oh your so cute and hugs and that’s it. I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve done the whole romatic candles and music w/a special dinner and a sexy outfit and for what? To be told you look nice dear and food looks good. That it! No getting it on on the table or bed or anything. I feel like if I don’t get satisfied at home, im going to do what guys do and find it else where (no not really) but that’s how I feel. I’m married to my bestfriend and now like my big brother. It’s not the same I don’t remember the last time we were intimate and if and when we are it’s like 10 minutes and that’s it. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): Dear, I am seeing in you, a good wife who has done exactly what what a few of the below Aunts suggested you do. You have made efforts to romance and establish a more intimate, loving, sexual relationship with your husband and he's simply not responding. It sounds like you have a deep bond to your husband, irregardless of the sexual problem. You are friends..it sounds like you do love him a lot. And it sounds like he loves you too. So what could be the problem? There are many reasons why a man loses interest in sex, in a marriage. I will list them and then you can decide which one may or may not apply to your man.1) Erectile dysfunction (stress, health factors)or 2) complacency/boredom or 3) infidelity or 4) homosexuality.
You and your husband are still pretty young. So a good, happy sexual life and an active interest in sex are extremely important for both of you in this marriage. Please talk to hubby and let him know how this makes you feel. I can almost say without a doubt...he's fully aware. Take caution not to blame each other. Just be willing to see this as problem you both need to work together on as a couple. And only he can answer your concerns.I would also suggest you ask your husband to seek couple counseling with you. Try to find a good quality counselor who is knowledgeable about sexual function/dysfunction in a marriage.. A good counselor will try to help you get talking with your husband which respects his discomforts in talking about it. It enables you to maturely and calmly tell him how it is affecting you, with getting upset and angry. But it also opens the problem wide open, without you being passive and wondering what the heck is going on. When both partners in a relationship are willing to work on a sexual problem,the odds of success do go up. Give this a whirl, first.
I am glad you are not considering an affair, hun. When one is married, freedom and commitment is mutually exclusive. You do sacrifice and surrender your freedom when you undertake the promise of fidelity to a partner. This is the true meaning of marriage. You are on the right track. It sounds like the both of you have respect, love and commitment. You just need to communicate together and find out what is causing his lack of interest. Make that appointment with a couples counselor and see if you both can work at this together. Good luck and I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, sacha  +, writes (23 February 2007):
Please get out, I have been married 23 years to a man like this, I feel totally destroyed, so much so, that I cannot seem to function.
People think when I am out I am fine, as I put on a show, but the heartache I have is unbearable.
He is successful at his career, puts in all the effort to that, I come at the bottom of the list.
I stayed at first because the children were young and I was looking after their needs, now I have given up work due to depression and I have no money of my own.
Look after yourself, GET OUT
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A
female
reader, AskEve +, writes (23 February 2007):
 I totally agree with the other male reader. YOU need to take control here. You tell HIM what you want. Dress much more provocatively and tell him you want to be seen as a sexy desirable woman! Become much more assertive and TELL him what you expect from HIM in the sex department. Tell him you'd love him to grab you sometimes and make out on the kitchen or dining room table! You WANT to do something raunchy and daring! You want him to make you feel alive and desirable! Then grab him and lead him up to the bedroom!
I'm sure he'll get the message! lol
Eve
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2007): You need to take controll girl. Get demanding what you realy want~ He'll only act like a pig if you let him good luck xxx
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