A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I asked my husband how often he masturbates, and he said a couple times a week. Yet, I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. He says it is not me, but what else could it be? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Keria  +, writes (25 April 2007):
Marriage should not get in the way of a good sex life.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2007): According to Keria's comment below, it means that Anon 26-29 shouldn't be married in the first place if she were to commit to cheating on him with another man.
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A
female
reader, Keria +, writes (25 April 2007):
You might not like this answer, but you need to suggest to him that if he is not interested in sex, you are going to find some guy or gal who is. Then go through with it. You are still very young, and you can allow him to dictate how often you are going to be pleasured.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replies. This is my fist time on here and I'm not quite sure how it works. I would have left more detail but it said to make my question short. I'm not sure if I can even reply like this, but here goes:
We've been married 3 years, together 5. I'm borderline nympho and he's always had a low sex drive, so he says. I'm very open to talk and he is shy and not so open. I asked him years ago if he masturbated because I had never seen it and I do it almost daily. He said no, to which I replied, almost everybody does, surely you do too. It finally came out that he if he did, it was rare. That's what he told me.
Fast forward a couple years, yesterday we were talking about something and I brought up the fact that he didn't masturbate and he said, "says who?". So, we got into it and he finally tells me he does it a couple times a week. I immediately got upset because not only did he lie to me all this time, but now I really wanted to know why we don't have sex more often. I dropped the conversation because I had tears in my eyes, and didn't want to get in a huge fight.
About the sex: he knows how badly I want sex all the time. I used to initiate it, but got sick of rejection. I constantly try to talk to him about it and the only thing I've ever gotten out of him is that he says he has a low sex drive (so why the masturbation???) and he has said he is overweight. I am always telling him how sexy and handsome he is to me. I boost his ego every chance I get. I touch him in sexy ways throughout the day.
Sex cannot be stressful with me. I don't even need foreplay! I'm always ready, and I orgasm easily. He orgasms every time we have sex. And every single time, after we've had sex he says how incredible it was and that we should do it more often! The nerve! ;)
I don't know what else to ask or how to even have a discussion on this anymore because he gets really upset when I ask about it. Suggestions????
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A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (22 April 2007):
 I have to agree with martini. Theres nothing wrong with masturbation, and it is only natural whether your sex life is a steady one or not. Theres nothing wrong with this.
You have to talk to him and find out why he finds it so hard to engage in some quality time with you.
You both need to be understanding of each other, its easy to get stuck into a routine of things and his problem/difficulty may be easier to solve than you think.
All it needs is a little time where you two can mutually understand when each other feel like sex and read each other better. It does'nt have to be a task or a job to do, but something to help him relax. Maybe a massage for you/him, soothing music, a bath etc....
All the best.......
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A
female
reader, beautifulllove +, writes (22 April 2007):
 well my fiance and me used to have sex all the time then he wouldnt want it and i found out that he was masterbating like twice a day and he said it wasnt me and that he was just stressed out and that it was easier than asking me for sex well we had a big fight and in the end we worked it but my point is that you need to talk to him and say i need sex more offten and if your ok which you should be with masterbation tell him its ok if he pleases hes self but you would like to please him a little more offten too but just talk and see if it works
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2007): Did he tell you that masturbation is faster and less pressuring for him? Think about it, if say he leads a stressful life at work, I don't know, and he goes home sits there and wants to quickly get off, he'll most likely mb and orgasm in a couple of minutes. However, say he goes and has sex with you, there are factors that he may feel like 1) give you similar or more pleasure, take time which takes more energy, and possibly he doesn't even orgasm at all.
It can be a physical thing as much as a mental thing. Mind you, I don't know. I am just giving you a possiblity.
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