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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Mod Note: Titled by Original Poster I have been married for 24 yrs. We have always been able to laugh at the same things but we don't see eye to eye on a lot of the important things. I'm a saver, he's a spender. I like to plan and make lists, he just does whatever. He has always put my needs last and let his mother butt into our lives. This and financial problems have caused many a fight. He used to enjoy having sex w/ me until, finally, in my 30's I discovered what a female orgasm was. After that, he lost a lot of interest. He will only minimally kiss me in/out of bed. He will try anything, if I initiate it. He loves to get oral, but I can count on one hand the # of times I've received it (says he just doesn't like to do it). I don't force him to so instead I bought a toy to help things along. My hand gets tired and he doesn't mess with it enough to make it happen for me. Over the last few years, he seems to be more willing to take care of himself alone and leave me stranded. When I tell him that I NEED it, he is not opposed to me going into the bathroom to take care of it myself so he can go onto sleep. Today was the last straw. He hasn't touched me in well over three weeks. He told me "I'm 43, I just don't want it all the time anymore." Well, I came home and found where he had been watching porn on the net and had gratified himself. He knows I would have gladly had sex w/ him. I have even watched porn w/ him to liven things up. When I cried and told him he hurt me, he started ranting about all the things I've said to him that hurt him. He was not apologetic, more so, mad and arrogant. I cried a lot and was truly hurt. This is not the first time this has happened. Several times he has ignored my needs because he is just "too tired" only to take care of his needs as soon as he is alone in the house. When I confronted him on always masterbating and never being w/ me, he denied that he did it and told me I was crazy and needed a pill. What am a very nice looking person, I am overweight, not grossly so, but so is he. He says all the fighting has turned him off. We have been fighting because he doesn't care about my needs and seems to act like a burden has been lifted from him when I take matters into my own hands. this leaves me feeling empty and alone most of the time. What can I do to turn this around and what is the best way to get over the hurt and rejection I feel?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): That guy 101 has some good advice, but what he failed to mention was wether or not his girl was masturbating on a regular basis or if she just lost interest in sex in general, an important detail? I would take his advice and stop asking, begging, crying, and talking about it immediately! Also go to npsupport.net and do some reading on the 'significant other' side of the board to figure out wether or not your husband has become addicted to porn and specifically, masturbation....there seems to be an awful lot of that going around lately :(
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (22 August 2010):
 Your husband is a selfish pig, my dear wife... He has only ever cared about his own needs and has always ignored yours. There is nothing wrong with your looks or your personality, it's not these things that are driving him away..He treats you like a doormat, because he can. You do everything to make him happy, and he does nothing. It doesn't surprise me that he doesn't want sex now that you enjoy it. Your enjoyment has no place in this unequal marriage..Your young, please stop wasting your time with this pig of a man, and go get a divorce before your too old to care..He doesn't prefer porn to you, he just enjoys hurting you and making you very unhappy. The day you divorce him and start making your happiness the main thing, is the day you'll see him for the utter waste of space he is...You married a boy, now divorce him and go find yourself a proper man who knows how to treat you with the respect you deserve.
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A
male
reader, ThatGuy101  +, writes (22 August 2010):
Its never a good to feel unwanted, like you and your soulmate are not clicking like you used to. Almost like the passion is gone. To start off with just remember opposites attract, thats just chemistry in itself! Ive had the same fights over sex but im the guy in the relationship. I was given every excuse in the book as to why we DID NOT need to have sex, it was agonizing non the less. I dont think im a bad looking guy myself, I workout 5x a week and tan, trust me physical appearance is not always the issue. Im not trying to defend him here but he may have some underlying stress he may have to much pride to admit to even though youve been together so long. This may not be the trick for everyone but what worked for me was quit asking. You should never have to ask for sex, its an equal bridge in any relationship. Start wearing seductive clothing but dont even initiate anything. Stop acting like it is bothering you, trust me his hand will get more boring to him that you think lol. When i started wearing tighter shirts to show off more of what ive been building up at he gym, and acting like sex was the furthest thing from my mind my girlfriend started looking a little more, she started kissing me a little longer but i wouldnt rub all over her body, she would start giving more compliments but I would only say thanks or you to. Give it long enough and he will start feeling the way you do and he will realize he has a sexy wife who is wanting what most men have to beg there wives for! I hope this helps and I hope you start getting some of that sexy loving your looking for.
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