A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I was just wondering how you tell someone to stop thinking about the future and everything too much?I've only been dating my boyfriend for a month, but we were very close friends for three years before this. I was in love with him throughout our entire friendship, and he felt the same way. We finally confessed a short while ago and have been dating ever since.Everything's perfect except...he talks about our future too much. I once told him that it was always my dream to go to Prague, and now he's suddenly planning a trip there. He's talking about how we could move in together next year, etc.I love him and of course I want a future with him but it's too early to be thinking of that stuff for me! I guess it's because we were friends for so long and we were already in the love stage, so we didn't start our relationship in the normal way couples do. I think it's great he wants a future with me in it, but I don't want to hear about it just yet. It's a bit scary and suffocating.How do I tell him, without embarrassing him or making him upset, that I want him to just chill out and focus on the present right now? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, nologo  +, writes (24 May 2007):
 You were close friends for 3 years before dating.
How could you not learn him better by that time?
Sounds to me that both you and him made different plans.
Why the future for you looks "a bit scary and suffocating".
"it's too early to be thinking of that stuff for me" - WHY?
You should sit together and decide what are the most important things for both in your relationship.
If you manage to do that - great, but if you fail to do that - it's time to end this relationship.
A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (23 May 2007):
 Voice your concerns immediately. You need to make it clear that he needs to slow down, and consider your opinion before making any plans.
DV1
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