A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok I will try to keep this as short and to the point as possible. A few weeks back my girlfriend sent me a nude pic of herself in the shower on WhatsApp messenger, though I appreciated the pic, I told her I don't really like using whatsapp because I had a girlfriend who used it to be unfaithful to me in the past, and I've never been on the messenger since. She told me i had nothing to worry about of that nature with her, anything she sends to me is for my eyes only. So anyway the day after she has a change of heart and tells me she is considering coming offline for good, not using whatsapp and Facebook again, and that she thinks I should do the same. I thought nothing of this and did consider it too, but then the subject changed and nothing more was said about it. As I said I don't use whatsapp anyway, I only downloaded it because my current girlfriend asked me to, I still have a Facebook account but I'm hardly on there anymore. Fast forward to recent events and I hear from her brother of a guy saying he has nude pics of my girlfriend on his phone, and that the guy has shown my girlfriends brother these to prove it's true. I dismissed any truth being behind this because I trusted my girlfriend and didn't want this to come between us. So she tells me she has fallen out with her brother over this and has confronted the guy who claims has these pics on his phone, and he still insists he has them. I called her the same night as this event and she told me because of this drama she has requested her Facebook account to be deleted by the server. This happens after 14 days if you remain inactive during that time. Yesterday I searched for my girlfriend account on Facebook to discover she has blocked me. I know she has blocked me because anyone else who searches for her account on there can find her, but I couldn't find her when I searched. So now I'm suspicious whether there actually is any truth behind what this guy is saying about my girlfriend sending him pictures, either that or she's being unfaithful in a different way to me. I hate to think my girlfriend would and could do something like this behind my back, but I can't see any other logic behind her telling me her Facebook account wasn't there anymore yet all she did was block me so it would seem to me that she isn't on there anymore, when clearly she still is. I've asked about this and she denies blocking me and says her account is just not on Facebook anymore, even though I've also told her that it shows up whenever other people search for her, just not when I search for her, and she flipped out on me insulting me and saying I have bad trust issues and that the relationship is over for good. I'm not so much looking for advice on this as I know what I should do based on what has really been going on, but what are other people's initial reactions to this suspicious behaviour? Thank you for taking the time to read and possibly respond to my question.
View related questions:
facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2014): Let her go. Hope she learned from this. You deserve better.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 Well, lashing out at your MOM would be the proverbial drop for me. Telling YOUR mom that she was moving ON with someone else already? What?
Yeah, your (now ex) GF is shady. And I would arrange a day to come pick up the stuff from her place asap, before she trashes your stuff. And don't ENGAGE in conversations or arguments with her while you're there, you MIGHT even want to bring a friend (male perhaps? or someone she knows)
After that? I'd delete & block HER on everything phone, e-mail, Facebook and ask your mom to do the same.
...............................
A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (3 November 2014):
 When you confront someone with proof contrary to what they have told you and they flip out, they are lying. My initial reaction from everything else you had mentioned was that she is shady and not being truthful. When you confronted her about Facebook, she flipped out and insulted you. This is classic defense for a liar getting caught. They try to make this about you, they threaten to break up. Anything to change the subject of getting caught dead in a lie. The hope being that you will think this is about you, blame yourself, fear the break up so you apologize and let it all go.
You caught her lying, there is no denying she is, you saw it yourself. I guess at this point you want to know if her lies are all that bad and what we think. Her own brother told you about naked pictures. She told you she doesn't have a Facebook but just blocked you. She's a liar and a manipulator. And anyone who insults your lack of trust when she is lying straight to your face is just a bad person. She didn't make a mistake, she didn't apologize, she lied repeatedly to you and now tries to make it your fault. Cut her loose, lord knows you can easily do better.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2014): No her brother didn't tell me he told her parents and her parents got on the phone questioning her about it. I don't get why her brother didn't just contact me himself if he knows of her guilty actions, since he was the one who kicked all this off in the first place obviously knowing drama wi kick off and I'd hear about it. I've had trust issues but they're not to a point I'd go looking for suspicious behaviour from my partner. This was too obvious a suspicious act from her after what I had heard about these pictures she's meant to have sent to someone. Yes it's my theory exactly, she blocked me on Facebook hoping this guy wouldn't go looking for my identity and tell me what she's been up to. It still doesn't explain why her brother himself didn't come to me and tell me directly, unless maybe he didn't want to seem like a trouble causer and by doing it a 3rd party way and me hearing about it that way would take the finger off him just possibly creating drama. She's said it's over, that was Saturday. All yesterday she has been messaging my mother defending her corner and playing the victim. Last night she was asking where I was but she got no response, so she concluded her messages to my mum for the night saying she was moving on with another guy now anyway. This morning she had apologised to my mother for her attitude yesterday saying she shouldn't have said what she said, but she would like to know when I'm collecting my belongings from her house. I was thinking of taking to her brother about this but chances are he won't tell me anything I haven't already heard.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 November 2014):
TRY making a Fake Facebook and do a search for her. IF it shows up, then you know she is lying her pants off.
My guess is, SHE DID send that guy some naughty pics. She had hoped he wouldn't tell anyone. That she could USE him for a ego boost or maybe more. And that YOU would never know. So when crap hit the fan, she panicked and figured if she could get YOU of Facebook the guy couldn't contact you, and maybe you would never know the truth. And she OBVIOUSLY KNOW the guy who claims to have the pictures, SO DOES her brother.
On the other hand WHY would her brother tell you these things? To create drama? Or because he is a friend of yours?
I DO think you have some trust issues from your last GF that you brought into this relationship. BUT..... Her story doesn't add up. WHy YOU should delete YOUR facebook makes no sense at all.
I like that she went on offensive with you. Making this WHOLE issue about YOU. How you have trust issues.
If she already told you, this relationship is over. Then I'd take her word for it and move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2014): Hi, I'm the original poster of the question. The pic wasn't a full body shot, it was of her breasts upwards. A selfie kind of pic.
I've confronted her about this and she got on the defensive saying she didn't block me she has deleted her account. Clearly if she's visible to others on Facebook but not visible to me, she has blocked me. Last time I tried to talk to her was on Saturday night and when confronted about her suspicious action she went on the defensive and has been all day yesterday. I can't talk to her at the moment because she just keeps messaging my mother sometimes being nice sometimes having extreme mood swings. She has apologised this morning to my mum for her attitude yesterday, but she isn't asking about me, she just keeps asking when I'm going to collect my belongings from her house. I guess if she would rather end the relationship than try to justify her innocence to me, then she has something to hide, and I may have to conclude that her guilty action of blocking me reveals the truth that she has been unfaithful. I doubt I will ever get the truth from her she's 22 and the most stubborn person I've ever come across in my life.
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (3 November 2014):
 I'd be suspicious about who took the pic while she was in a shower. Ghosts?
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2014): You sound like a really nice guy. If it was me I would confront her about blocking you on Facebook and no matter how many times she Denys it, just be persistent saying you know she blocked you. Tell her you deserve her to be honest with you. This is a tough one but why would a random guy say he had random naked pics if he didn't? And do you really want to be with someone like this? You both really need to talk, and she needs to be honest with you
...............................
|
