A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: For the past month, I've been seeing this much older guy. He texts me everyday, takes me out on dates, we get along, tells his friends about me, told his family he met a lovely lady.. etc.. etc. He tells me he thinks I'm beautiful, smart and one of the funniest girls he's met. He's in his 30s and I'm in my 20s. He says age doesn't matter to him and it doesn't matter to me either. I actually like that he's a few years older than me. My friends told me to be careful because they thought he might be a player (tall, outgoing, and attractive) but I haven't been getting that vibe. I've been careful with him (we never had sex) and I feel like I have an emotional wall up due to my friends. I know things are still new and we don't fully know each other. He hasn't given me a concrete reason to believe he's a player and so I don't think he's a player.. for now at least. I'm curious to see how you guys would approach this situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): well he seems like a nice guy, ur only just getting to no him so dont rush anything, but if you end it now it seems like you will be asking yourself what if? you should'nt worry about what other people say, do what you heart feels, or your head, good luck?am a girl of 21 and dating a guy who is 31 and it is great, i had the same problem with friends but if there true freinds and it dont work out they will be there to support you, and if it does work out they will be ur bridesmaids, lol. your still young, u work out what u want 1st and that will show you the path you should take
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Keep getting to know him. As for your "gfs," any guy, young or old, could be a possible player. Just get to know him and look for habits or ways that prove that he is NOT a player.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I think you're doing it perfectly well. Your walls are up just in case, you're not going physically further than you're comfortable with, you're heading your friends warning while managing to not judge him or interrogate him..
I think, keep going as you. Slowly but surely. And involving yourself in his family is always helpful. A family and the way they treat each other can say a lot about people. Plus you get the little snidbits like, "oh he must really like you! Most girls he just has a quick fling with and they're gone!"
Which to you would say "player" but i think you see my point.
Be open-minded.
~SY.
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A
male
reader, 2old4this +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Actually, it sounds like you are doing fine. You are being careful but still getting to know him. As time goes by you will slowly let your guard down more and more. As far as the sex thing, that is up to you. But if you stay the path you are walking now, I think you will know when the time is right.
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (17 June 2009):
 Let's just boil this down to the raw elements here... do you like him? Does he like and respect you? To hell with anyone else's opinion! Ultimately, what happens between the two of you is between the two of you! I'm the type to say that if it feels good to you, then what does it matter what everyone else thinks? An age difference isn't a reason to tread lightly -- in particular, you're both adults and can do whatever the hell you want to...
My advice would be go with what makes you happy. If you start to see those "player" tendencies emerge, deal with it then, but don't speculate -- stop thinking, start feeling...
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