A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi please can people give me some idea of how someone would act around you if they were cheating on you I have been with my fiancé now for 6 years we have a 3 year old daughter we’ve been having sleep issues with our 3 year old daughter so my partner has been sleeping on the sofa the problem is every night when I go to bed about half hour after I have gone to bed he sneaks out and comes back in 15/20 minutes later we’ve had trust issues in the past which I why I’m suspicious I think but does this sound like he could be cheating he has become quite friendly with our neighbor thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 March 2018):
 Woah hang on a minute.. he pops across the road to HER house?? I didn't see that in your original post. I thought he was just stepping outside on the front porch or into the garage for a quick cigg.
If he's sneaking over to another woman's house then I would definitely be concerned. Tell him you're going out on errands and you'll be gone 2 hours, then park around the corner and catch him.
Take note of the dates and times he sneaks off. Just in case you need it in court.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 March 2018):
 How would he act? Well sweetie in all fairness not all men who cheat act the same so it would be impossible to tell you how your husband would act. When you hear him sneaking out maybe get up and look out a window and see where he is going. If it is only a short time maybe he has a secret smoking habit or yes maybe he is going out to talk to someone privatly on the phone. If you are feeling paranoid you need to ask yourself is it because of the past? Has he cheated before? Are you sure you trust him? I mean it is obvious you don't trust him at the moment.
If he is getting friendly with the neighbour and going over to hers and leaving young children in the house home alone when you are at work then you need to pull him up on that.
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A
female
reader, louiselistens +, writes (20 March 2018):
 Hi anonymous writer,
Your husbands behavior certainly does seem suspect so you are fully justified in believing he would be up to something. Especially if there have been issues of trust in the past.
You need to talk to him as soon as possible and get your concerns about his behavior out in the open. If this is just left to fester it could turn into something nasty.
Try not to mention that it was your son who saw him because if he is angry at being caught he may take it out on the boy. Try and get an explanation from your husband about his behavior and if it turns out he is cheating on you, you will have to evaluate whether the relationship is worth fighting for.
In a marriage, your partner is meant to be the one person you can rely on and trust fully, not somebody who keep you awake at night wondering what they're up to. At the very least, even if it turns out he's not cheating, your husbands behavior is causing you to lose trust in him and it is not acceptable.
If you two can reach an understanding where you are both willing to try and improve the relationship and work on your marriage, couples counselling might be a good way to move forwards.
Best wishes
louiselistens
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2018): OP, watch him now!
Never tell him what your son has told you!
Play blind, deaf and dumb until you catch him in the act!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2018): He may be sneaking-off to checkout some porn or a smoke. Not much else you can do in 15/20 minutes.
I did get a giggle when someone says he can't be having sex. Um... some guys can do it in less than 5 minutes! I know this isn't funny, but I don't think it's anything you should be seriously concerned about. Unless you don't want him watching porn; and I only hope that doesn't open a whole new can of worms.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2018): Thank you for your answers I am going to keep an eye out as my son who is 11 has just told me he pops over the road to her house while I am at worl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2018): 15-20 min is a little too quick for sex. So, I'd rule that one out. I'd follow him though to see what he's doing.
As for whether he's having sex with the neighbour, I would say you should keep your eyes wide open from now on. Gut feeling is a force to be reckoned with.
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A
female
reader, Ciar +, writes (19 March 2018):
Another vote for 'sneaking out for a cigarette'. That or he's smoking a joint.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 March 2018):
 Is he a smoker? Or has he been and promised to quit?
I don't really think a guy having an affairs ONLY takes 15 minutes to "have a shag".... Or even call someone he is cheating with.
Why not ask him?
You say you HAD trust issues in the past... but it seems like you STILL do. So maybe you need to address this and simply ask him what's up - without accusing him of anything.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (19 March 2018):
 Unless he's cheating with your neighbour, how could he cheat in only 15 - 20 minutes? Seriously, OP - that's paranoia.
If you have trust issues, you need couples' counselling. You will sabotage your relationship if you don't get professional help.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2018): He sneaks out and comes back in 15 or 20 minutes? That means he could potentially spend 10-15 minutes with the neighbour? That sounds like wham bam thank you maam if he is cheating...that sounds REALLY quick to get in there, warm his mistress up and do the deed... I think it sounds far more likely that he is sneaking out for a smoke break. But hey, hwy don't you open the door a few minutes after he leaves and see where he goes?
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