A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys,i'm really confused. Ive been with my boyfriend for about a year in a half. Weve broken up about 3 times and have gotten back together. We broke up because we werent sure if we wanted to have a long distance relationship because we were both going to seperate colleges that were really far apart. We ended up deciding to work it out because we realized we wanted to be with each other. We started off fighting alot, and our relationship was really hard at first but we ended up working all the fights out and now everything is good. Everything but one little thing, i cant stop worrying about if its right or not. My friends and family saw how much we fought and broke up and kept telling me it wasnt right so i am constantly worrying. I know i want to be with him, he makes me really happy and I cant imagine myself with anybody else. But istill worry about if its right or not, and worrying about this is making me not happy. One of my friends asked me if i loved him or if i just loved the idea of him, and really i dont know the answer to that. How do i know if im in love with him or if i just love him? and if im constantly worrying about if its right does that mean its not? I dont know what to do my friends tell me to break up with him but everytime i think about it i get really sad because i dont want to.
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broke up, long distance Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (7 December 2009):
 Hey firstly I think you love him if it was the idea of him, well he wouldn't really be interested so that would create only an idea. That friend I'm sorry sounds to be confusing you, is it another guy?
Being in love is when you both genuinly love each othe. You both know it and can tell the other knows. And you don't necessarily have to say "I love you" you'll just know. If yo just love him and are not "in love" then he won't love you the sMe way as you love him. You will just know because everything will feel just right.
From my point of view it's been rocky in the past so this relationship has already had a few teething problems. If it were me I'd give it all some space for a while have some time to enjoy yourself with some of your friends and in a few weeks or a month or so then reasses the situation.
:)
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 December 2009):
I think on this occasion your family are right. You've broken up three times, and you've argued a lot. And even know you're questioning it. Long Distance relationships take a huge amount of effort, and you both must be completely committed. I'm sure you like him, and to split will be hard. But it might be wise to listen to your family this time. You will know when you're in love. I don't think you are on this occasion.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): if you feel satisfied when you see some one even if it was by chance
and you feel jeallous if he flirts with another girl
and you think about him most of the time
then you love him
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