A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Last year I had an affair with a married woman,(she is married to a male)and has children. I am a 27 year old woman myself who thought i was heterosexual but had very strong feelings for this person, and it is something that happened because we were close friends years before and then we stopped speaking because we realised there were feelings between us... but it ate us up inside and finally it happened - when she was married. The affair went on for about 2 years and it has finished now and i was in such pain that i decided to change my life around and moved to another state in USA to get over this. I have only recently (since september) cut ties and stopped speaking to her and told her never to contact me again, but the pain i feel is intense and enormous and affecting my whole life with other relationships with men. I am also findng myself drawn to other women to replace what i had, and this is not what i want because i am very attracted to men but all i find are b*stards who want to sleep with me and not love me. I really want to get married myself and have kids but i am in so much pain and i dont know how i will ever get over this. Does anyone have any advice how to get over this? I literally hate myself for what ive done and what i put myself through and i've been left feeling very angry, while she carries on with her life married and happy with her kids and i'm lonely and feeling regretful ...
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBEST ANSWER YET!!! thank you so much LOVEGIRL damn right. what kind of sick person is she to do this? i know for a fact she has been cheating with other people and she will keep doing it. Who knows if he will ever find out as he is too old, maybe he knows deep down that she's doing it and just continues his life cuz he's a sad idiot himself , or maybe he too is cheating. The point is i made a decision when i ran away to never speak or contact her again and i know it is all about loving myself, and i hate myself for not loving myself, i need to heal now and take care of myself and find real love and happiness. thank you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): An affair is an affair... Doesn't matter whether it is with a same sex partner or not, cheating is wrong.
As with sooo many affair partners one pines and the other walks away without any injury.
If u love yourself, truly love yourself u won't give in. YOU were wrong to sleep with a married person. Two years of lies, half truths and no dignity. Do u want to continue like this forever?
Realise this: u were not special. She cheated before and she will cheat again. This woman is selfish, heartless to both u and her hb and she takes takes takes. Don't get me started about her role as a mother to her kids....bec if these horrible traits are evident in her character it will or has also spilled over into her kids lives.
Cut off all contact. NOW. And keep it this way.
Do u think her hb will divorce her if/when he discovers he's married to a serial cheater?
LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSageoldguy1465 i have seen psychologist, shrinks trust me i have been there already and talked about it til the cows come home and it does no good, trust me i know what i am deep down and who im attracted to. I think I must be bi-sexual there is no doubt because i do fancy other girls sometimes and find them sexy, but i also really fancy men too and it feels more natural to be with a man. But with her there was this emotional connection i have never felt before and the sex was just incredible, like heaven. The only way to describe it. I really feel like i fell in love hard and I just need to move on finally and just meet a nice guy not ass holes and that is my only saving grace.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe is happy because she has a good life with him he is very very rich older man in his late 50's and she goes to all kinds of events, concerts and goes to the most expensive restaurants and she goes shopping ALL the time and can buy anything she wants. while this is all material things she still has a good life and i suspect she cheats with other people too but i know that there was something very strong between us that has lasted a very long time. She does love her children and yes that is another reason to stay together, but it is hard to get over this because when you really have a connection it can last forever and i miss her everyday , but i know the second i give in and make contact with her again, i will be sucked right back in and I am afraid of this and she even talks about coming to see me in another part of the usa just to see me and making an excuse that it is a family trip. Its like its never going to go away unless i really stop the contact.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (7 November 2011):
 I read your submittal as a person who is struggling with their sexuality, and can't quite come to grips with it if she (you) may be homo- or bi-sexual...
How about seeking out a counselor/therapist/psychologist and look in to your own life.... and sexuality......? You need more than a few amateur remarks as you will get from us Agony Aunts and Uncles.
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, goldengirl88  +, writes (7 November 2011):
what makes you think that they are actually happy, i would say that she loves her children and that is probably the only reason she is staying in that marriage. Thopugh she may love him too. However, this is not your typical affair, as this woman like you is confused about her sexuality. In away your the lucky one as yes its hurts, it hurts like hell, but you have the chance to go out's stuck in a miserable marriage. And lets be serious the husband probally does not know about the affair, so they still have the same old problems they had before which is why she had the affair in the first place. So she is just making herself a very miserable woman.
good luck and i hope you find the happiness you deserve.
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