A
female
age
36-40,
*elsiwe
writes:I was in a relationship for 8 years with the father of my 2 kids. he said we must break up, cause he had a new girlfriend. We broke up 2 years back and it was hard for me. its been two years since we broke up, but i dont find a great man 4 me. i am over him, but everything seems 2 go well 4 him and i am stuck. he even sent me an sms "bragging" that he is engaged. why dont i find love and get maried 2. maybe i have bad luck in man. pls help me on how 2 cope and move on.
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female
reader, GettingHelp +, writes (15 July 2010):
This man is obviously a jerk, you shouldn't think about him or his life. He left you and your children - its clear that he's the loser here.
The right man will come along but in the meantime do more of the things you love, you're more likely to meet someone with similar interests or morals to you if you are doing the things that interest you.
If your ex needs to brag to you that he's engaged he's obviously not as happy as you think he is. A truly happy man does not need to tower over someone else with his happiness.
Good luck :)
A
female
reader, fishy fish  +, writes (15 July 2010):
As he found himself a fiancee you'll definitely find yourself a soul mate when the right time comes, don't project his life and the time frame of his new relationship on your life, i know how frustrating it must be for your ego but hey , didn't you mentioned that you're over him? yes you are and you're ready to be with the right person when he comes along! let him brag as much as he wants , you're not in a race here running to the winning point, it's your life you're talking about, and your kids keep you well grounded and well centered , as for Mr right he'll come when least expected as long as you're moving on with your life normally and stressing about your personal life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2010): There is no way you ex can be "happy." He is just throwing that in your face because, he is a mean ass. How you start is how you finish....if your ex left you for another woman, you can be certain that he will get what is coming ot him in the end. Actually, you should feel sorry for the new woman because, she has no idea what she is up against. She is probably thinking that she has a good man, when actually she does not.
Don't try to convince yourself that you are over this guy because, you are not from the tone of your posting. Take the necc. time to either try to cope or get over him completly. He is the father of your childrens so in a way you are still "attached" to him basically for life in some way or another. Go to therapy, read self help books, keep yourself busy, learn what love is and how to love yourself, learn how men are as far as it relates to dating and relationships. Read a book by Sherry Argov called "Why Men Love Bitches." Also read "He's Just Not That Into You" or "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others." (I haven't read the last one, but I read some really good reviews on Amazon.com). I understand how it feels to fall for a guy that turns out to be complete and total loser guy, and all I can say is that there is no quick fix to the situation as far as coping and getting over the person. With me, I had to attend therapy because, that was my first time I called myself being in love and the guy just shattered my world for almost one year after he and I went our seperate ways due to him going back to his baby's mother after he lead me on for almost 8 months. The way he treated me was devestating and horrible in my opinion, but he never saw it that way...the lies, the putting my health at risk, the verbal and emotional abuse...you know...it's just the way he treated me after everything was over with and what hurt the most was the lies he told and the false dreams and hopes he influenced me to believe. I don't understand how a person can lie for months to an individual that the know they don't love and have no intention on being with in the long run...personally, I couldn't do it, I can't pretend even for a day or one month. If I am not feeling the person, I am just not feeling them, therefore it's not benefical to either of us that I lie or lead the person one b/c I am not going to be happy and the other person is going to end up with a broken heart if they fall for me. At any rate, it took me almost one year to get over the guy and today I am gladly to report that I have no feelings for him whatsover, I don't love him, I don't care about me (granted, I don't wish or desire anything bad happens to him), if he married a cousin of mine, it wouldn't bother me one bit and now I can look back on the situation and laugh at certain part, but I learn alot from dealing with that guy and whenever I date others, I try to make certain that I am aware of the red flags early on in the dating process or relationship.
Good Riddings!!!
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