A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I babysit for a little boy for really nice people. I love the kid, and my family has known this family for years. My sisters babysat him from when he was a baby until he was 3 or 4 years old. The problem is his parents always call me last minute, usually only a few hours before they need me. Sometimes I can babysit and other times I can't when they call. When I can, it's really annoying that it's last minute, but I don't want to say no if they really need me. If I can't because I have plans, I feel bad. They also usually don't come home when they say they will. If it's because of work or traffic, I understand because they can't control that. But a lot of the time they're at parties and stay out way later than the time they told me they'd be home. Usually they go out to parties on weekends. The kid doesn't have a bedtime on weekends, so if his parents stay out until 1 or 2 am, he stays up. I don't get any rest and I'm always really tired. It's usually on Saturday nights, and every Sunday morning I go to church, so I have to get up early in the morning and don't get enough sleep if I babysit late. I feel a little underpaid, too. They give me $5 an hour (they never asked me how much I charge, just started paying me that) and the going rate where I live for 1 child is $7 or $8 an hour. I especially don't think that's enough to pay me if they're out really late. I don't know how to explain all this to the parents without sounding like a jerk and without making it awkward between them and my family. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (18 May 2008):
I'm a freelancer so I know it can be hard to ask for more money / better conditions when you know they might just stop using your services.
The thing is though that people will pay you the cheapest rate and treat you the worst they can get away with.
I knew one girl who had really low pay and complained to her boss and he said "I know sorry but we really have no more money to give you." He said this for 2 years and then when she told him she was leaving as she'd been offered more money elsewhere, he suddenly offered her a pay rise to stay.
They pay you peanuts because you'll take it and other people ask for more and you don't. They call you last minute because you'll come over last minute and won't complain.
The next few times they call and you are busy, say "oh if only you'd asked me yesterday I wouldn't have made plans..." They'll soon learn as they'll have to ring round everyone else and try and find a last minute more expensive sitter. The other thing to do talk to them and ask if they will be a reference that you can give to people because you are starting to look for more baby sitter work. Tell them another couple wants to take you on for work EVERY WEEKEND and is paying 9 dollars an hours but you need a reference.
They'll hopefully offer you a bit more money to stay with them instead.
You sound like a nice person, don't get walked over because you don't want to rock the boat. If they don't treat you right, then quit and find someone better to pay you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2008): Option two: Your a really nice person, your caring and kind and you are loved and recieve and give love easily. People love your company. You treat people nicely AND PEOPLE TREAT YOU NICELY.
I look in my crystal ball and I see a different you. Your dressed in a suit and you look really good. Your sitting behind a desk, and you have a big diary in front of you. I look over your shoulder (come closer, look with me) and I see several items on your calander.
Monday: You've booked an appointment with the doctor, you think you might be pregnant, your husbands taking you out to a meal to appologize to you for spending so much time in the office. You don't know it yet, but his got two tickets to India, because he can't believe how understanding you've been while he's been concentrating on fighting for his job.
Tuesday: You've got a meeting with your boss. You feel real sorry for him because his wife has got cancer, and he loves her so much that he can't bear it. You don't know it yet but he's managed to get some new business and he's arranged a pay rise for you to thank you all the added work you've taken on, durring this difficult time. He's been so frightened to loose you, because he knew you took a pay cut to work with him, and besides no one understands him like you do.
Wednesday: Gymn..
Thursday: You go to see your mother and she tells you that she got tickets for that concert you like.
Friday: I see you sitting at your desk. You got two letters in front of you. Someone wants you to leave your job, you'll get double the pay and a company car. But you don't know, cause you like where you work. Your boss is really good to you. You love his wife and go to see her as often as you can. Besides he remembered to send you flowers when your ex left you for another woman. You've worked for him for 10years, and had lots of fun. Besides you got the job because you know somebody that knows him... Your first cousin's auntie's old school chum that she bumped into after 3 years.
Saturday: Your going over to your friends house. She say's she needs to talk to you about something important. She's a hairdresser and she's got the day off. Her kids are at her ex-husbands house. She want's to tell you about a new guy she's met. "He's really special, he's the one. Love at first sight." You don't know it yet, but she's gonna do something with your hair. She wants to give you back that £50 she borrowed and do something nice for you cause your always baby sitting her kids.
Sunday: You turn the on the answermachine, you've got paint all over the floor. Your attempting to paint that picture of you husband that you always wanted to give him. You think you got talent, they said you were good at Art in school. The phone keeps ringing, but you take the time out to realise your dreams.
The moral of this story. You have two choices, two roads in life, so to say. What is your destiny. The choices you make now will build your future. You can caterto the needs of others, and sacrifice your life for them or buy a diary and start planning for the kind of life you want to live.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2008): AHHHH.... HERE WE GO....This is gonna be a long one... Get ready, stick with me right to the end. I hope you'll understand....
I want to tell you a story........ A story about YOU. Please ignore my post unless you have the time to stick with me to the very end.
You: I don't know how to explain all this to the parents without sounding like a jerk and without making it awkward between them and my family.
YOU ARE GROWING UP. YOU ARE NOW AT THE AGE WHEN YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT KIND OF ADULT YOU WANT TO BECOME.
See, I've got a special crystal ball that I use for people like you. It shows me a picture of your future. It shows me the kind of adult you will one day become. If you don't mind, I'd like you to come closer and look into your future with me.......We're going forward in time, travelling "BACK TO THE FUTURE" say...ah 20 years or so... (Go and get the film)
Option one: Your a really nice person, your caring and kind and you are loved and recieve and give love easily. People love your company. You treat people nicely NO MATTER WHAT.
You love your husband and you don't mind supporting him whilst he stays at home on the sofa watching TV, "cause it's really hard to get work, when you got no education, and there's so much competition nowadays". You wish your boss would pay you a little more, cause your money dosen't stretch far enough, and hubby at home keeps asking for more money and you don't know why. He always seems to be out, you never see him anymore but you know he loves you cause he tells you all the time. He says those four little words "I love you honey".....
So you need more money. You've worked for the same boss for the last 10 years. You've never had a pay rise, you've been on the same wages for the last 10 years, and it isn't enough, cause you got other committments (hubby at home).
You'd love to talk to him but he's never in the office. But you understand. Things are really difficult for your boss, things are crashing down on his head. You got the job because you know somebody that knows him... Your first cousin's auntie's old school chum that she bumped into after 3 years. His wife has got cancer, his business is losing money and "some mysterious woman keeps phoning all the time, demanding to see him right away."
You find this all difficult because you 'aint' seen him for two weeks, your not sure about those files he left, things are in a mess and you wished he didn't sack those other two workers because of "lack of money" downsizing, rationalization and a whole other heap of jargon (jive talk) that you really didn't understand........
Your tired and exhasted all the time, it's difficult to go to work, you loose concentration and you've got a splitting headache. You keep meaning to go to the doctor, but you can't seem to find the time....
Besides you still got to go and see your friend whose going on a date and will be back "sometime" so can you look after the kids, "causes he's really cute, it's different this time, it's true love, love at first sight (lust)". She still owes you £50 from the last time, and you know she dosen't have the money, cause "the kids need things all the time". Besides your too worried that she'll ask you for another £20 because she really likes him and "I'm a little short this week" .......
OPTION TWO WILL FOLLOW SHORTLY..... TAKE A BREAK, GET A GLASS OF WATER... I'LL BE BACK SOON.....
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (17 May 2008):
 I don't think talking to the parents is a good move. There are plenty of people who would just put up with a list of complaints like that. That's the problem with being a babysitter, there are always plenty of people to take the gig away from you if you don't want it anymore. I guess if the issues above bother you that much you should stop being so available when they call you at the last minute orn tell them you have to be home by x o clock tonight because you have lots of school work to do the next day or something?
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