A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months we broke up 6 months ago and got back together a month and a half later and moved in together. But he is so controlling and such a hypocrite I can't take it he want me to qit my job so I got a second job just to spite him.. and for the extra money but I'm just not happy and I can tell he's not either but we are both on the lease and I have most of my stuff there and I fear that if I tell him how I really feel he will flip and break my stuff or worse me.. how can I get out of this with no damage done to me or my stuff? Do I move my stuff out first but wait there to talk to him? I need help
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female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (7 February 2011):
 If you really believe that this man will become violent to you then yes, move your stuff out when he's not around but don't wait around to talk to him. Give him time to calm down and then meet him somewhere public or wherever you're staying with someone else around.
You are right to leave. He is controlling and making you unhappy and if you genuinlly think you are at risk of him hurting you then the sooner you leave the better.
A
male
reader, GoodGuy777  +, writes (7 February 2011):
Has your boyfriend shown in the past that he is capable of being violent? If you think he can get violent, then I would consider slowly moving out your most important small belongings first, stuff he won't notice isn't missing, and keep them with someone else you trust like family or friends. Then I would move all the other stuff out when you know he would be out for a while. Get help from friends so they'll also be there to protect you if he shows up.This is of course only if you don't think an honest conversation will work. Always try to communicate if possible. Just make sure you are safe. Let's say you actually move out everything while he doesn't know. Won't he get even more mad, than if you tried talking to him? If you think he'll be even more mad, just make sure you're safe. Ask for help and advice from your family, friends or a counselor.If your safety is at risk, get out of there. Nothing is worth your health and safety.
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