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female
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*utiebutterfly
writes: i have been making alot of mistakes recently and i now feel like im hanging over the edge of a mountain and only i can help myself back to the top. i have now started doing things to change back to the person i once was, e.g dumping my boyfriend who had become violent and my next step is to tell my other ex-boyfriend who i went out with for two years im still in love with him, not to get him back just to help me move on and sort my life out. im just not sure if this is the right step,am i doing the right thing?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2006): Congratulations on dumping an abusive boyfriend!
Maybe it would not be a good idea to tell the other ex you're still in love with him - you don't need or want to get back into a relationship with anyone right now. But asking for his advice and moral support as a friend, can't hurt. If he likes you as a friend, he may be willing to do what he can to help. Hope you are financially okay, as asking for money would not be a good way to start out.
Of course, you COULD ask your parents if you really need it.
Don't forget to enlist help and support from your family, or a professional counsellor. A counsellor is "outside" your situation and can be more objective.
Again, great that you are getting your life sorted out, more power to you!
A
female
reader, Just An Opinion +, writes (6 August 2006):
Congratulations on getting out of a dangerous relationship!!! Since you are making decisions and taking step, then why don't you try NOT contacting the ex - at least for the moment. If you have been with someone who is physically violent, then there is a possibility that he was emotionally abusive too. If this is the case, then you need time to heal and develop some perspective into what you do and do not need in a realtionship. You are SO right when you say that "only you can help yourself get back to the top." Ultimately it is true that you are in charge, but sometimes it takes other people to help to push or pull us back. Do you have friends and family to turn to? If so, then spend some extra time with them. Your ex is your ex for a reason. Think about those reasons. Good Luck!!
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