A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After a big fight in high school, I've never been able to trust anyone aside from my mom.I thought I was great friends with a group of people from high school, but one of them got angry with me for trying to stop a fight between her and another girl. I didn't want to take sides, and soon instead of "me trying to stop a fight", it turned into "me setting them up against each other".I'm not sure how it turned out that way, but soon they were all saying crap, and I got fed up with it. After that incident, I removed myself from further conflict because I was so hurt.I made other friends, but one of them accused me of stealing from her home, and I was so shocked I stopped going out and contacting any of my friends. I feel like everyone is saying something about me behind my back, and even if I think a person is "nice" or "easy to get along with", a voice in the back of my head is constantly telling me that they'll end up stabbing me in the back, too.I don't want to think this way. I try to keep a positive outlook on life and people, but it's extremely hard when all these doubts flood into my head. I have zero friends as of now, and although I want to make some new friends, I have no idea where to begin (I don't go to clubs or parties); in fact, I can't even remember how I made friends before.What should I do in order to gain more trust in others, and make new friends? Also, how do I know if I'm intruding in on a certain circle of friends? I feel like at my age (I'm in my early 20s), everyone already has their 'circle', and wouldn't want a stranger trying to fit in...Anyway, that's my sob story. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank-you. :) Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (30 October 2010):
 Usually new friends are always welcome, there is no reason to be closed off and unwelcoming to others. You need not trust anyone to begin with, trust must be built over time and perhaps therein lies the source of these past conflicts. Perhaps friendships went too fast in a way and too much was expected too soon. I do not know, this is merely a theory.
But you should always be trying to meet people, anyone at all. I doubt they would all try to turn on you. Never stop being who you are. It was right of you to try and stop the conflict and now, you must stand proud, eventually people shall see what a good friend you are, invoking peace amongst others. If they are too blind to see it, leave them but be honest, there must be someone out of everyone you know, everyone you see, that is capable of trustworthy friendship.
I hope that helps.
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