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How to keep a cheating husband interested

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Article - (14 September 2011) 8 Comments - (Newest, 15 September 2011)
A female United Kingdom age , blondie49 writes:

hello and im so happy to meet you my name is blondie im 48 years old im a mother and a grandmother i have 11 grand children

now iv been in my marrige now for ten years but from the word get go i've always known there was something very wrong but me being me i'll hold on in there. my husband is a man that doesn't know how to be loyal at no time at all but me being me i just sit and watch. it used to hurt me a lot but then one day i made up my mind i'm not putting his stress on my head anymore now. im not asking him any more 'are you cheating?' iv stopped making him feel that he is important any more. the only thing that matters to me is me now i don't ask him anything anymore so the table has turned, my husband his asking me if im cheating lol. you see what good for him is good for you i've never ever cheated on him but what i did was turn the table on him made him feel the same way he made ne feel now i have my husband the way i know him to be. lady if the man is not worth your time don't put his stress on your head while your doing that your getting old and he is staying young. it not worth it. i'm a glamour model, im hot and he still cheats so you see no matter how you look it make no difference they will aways cheat. turn your back on him show him you dont give a damn. he'll soon start to look in to himself

good luck blondie

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A female reader, angelDlite United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

angelDlite agony auntdoes this really work for you though? it seems like rather than you being a strong woman, you have actually been broken down, emotionally by him. you don't bother asking him is he cheating because you know the answer and you you know you will never get the truth from him. the marriage is dead but you are still hanging on to its lifeless carcass. a really strong woman would have dumped him this disrespectful cheater, even if it meant being on her own

x

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

KittieS agony auntThroughly agree with Sami's post

I wish you luck in your decision

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A female reader, sammi star United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

sammi star agony auntYou say you're a strong woman and that you won't let a man walk all over you but isn't that precisely what you're doing by allowing this man to have his cake and eat it?

You certainly don't sound like the kind of woman to stand for that so I'm surprised that you do.

Sometimes relationships become a habit and we stop looking at what we really want as it's easier to turn a blind eye, especially after you've been through so much together.

If you're happy living this way and content with your life then you've obviously made the right decision for you. But it's certainly not for everyone and I'm not sure we should be promoting this type of relationship as a healthy one to the many young and impressionable teens on this site. I wish you the the best of luck though.

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A female reader, blondie49 United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

blondie49 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

blondie49 agony auntok i do understand this but you no iv been with this man from school iv never cheated on my husband plus iv been a very bissey mum wife and grand mother i had my first child at the age of 13 so i no this man i went to school with him i have had most of my life with him im not going to stand back and watch no women take my husband im not point scoreing but im not going to stand back and let no man walk over me no matter what im better then that ok im a very strong women i don't take bull from no one no matter what it make no different to me who they think they are no man is worth stressing over from he can cheat once he will do it agine im not going to sit and get old because of his bull im sorry blondie

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A female reader, KittieS United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

KittieS agony auntIts very sad to read this, you deserve better.

Not all men cheat, it's just not true. Marriage is hard, relationships are hard but not all men go about having their cake and eating it! Some do not all of them though.

I agree with the other writter, I think this has run it's course and maybe it's time for you to move on.

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A female reader, positivesmiler United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

Being a loyal wife the husband should always be loyal in return..Marriage has vows..You stuck to your vows but he did not stick to his..Its not a game like some people are saying far from it..You just had enough of him letting you feel the way you did as the more you asked the more he cheated..All you did was stop asking and by doing that it made him wake up..Not a game at all you made him grow up too and take his vows seriously..Hopefully now you will have a marriage the way it should be..All the best..

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (15 September 2011):

CindyCares agony aunt I don't know, Blondie.. I am glad that you have found a way of handling the problem that works for your couple, but surely it would not work for many people.

First, it's untrue that "all men cheat ", I may concede that probably all men are tempted to cheat, but if they have integrity , and value their marriage, they'll be able to resist . So why taking such a fatalist stand, as if cheating is like death : inevitable.

Then, it's good , I think, to act as if you don't care about being cheated on....if you actually don't care, but for most people being cheated on is very painful, and hiding your feelings, and making light of things that DO matter , is basically playing games, not the best base for a solid, honest relationship. A marriage where either partner, or both, can't stay faithful is sort of an empty shell, and maybe it has run its course.

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A female reader, sammi star United Kingdom +, writes (15 September 2011):

sammi star agony auntI think it's rather sad that you say no matter what you look like, men will always cheat. It's quite a contradiction that you seem to have resigned yourself to this fact as a way of life while at the same time telling women to put themselves first and not take on the stress of it.

I don't think a marriage should be about playing games. Constantly having one of you wondering if the other is cheating is no way to go through life. It must be absolutly exhausting!

I'm well aware that marriage is no fairytale and everyone will have their ups and downs but ultimately it should be about supporting each other and feeling you always have someone to turn to. Not points scoring.

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