A
female
age
36-40,
*SRS5RG3
writes:Hi, I have only been with my man for 2 months. It was all going great - I had met all his family he said he liked me unlike any other girl he had been with. but then a week and a half ago he told me he felt weird and needed some time to think. Since then he has virtually ignored me except texting me a couple of times when he was drunk saying how sorry he was and that he missed me and wanted us to be together but it was the worst week of his life since his dad had died.I know he is suffering from depression and has been since he was 17 and there is so much stuff going on at home that could cause this. But I have tried ringing/texting/writing a letter but its not getting through. We haven't been together long enough for me to turn up at his house.Is anyone else been in a similar situation? Is this normal? I just want to be there for him but what can I do?XxX
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female
reader, Lovely Sweet Laura  +, writes (3 December 2009):
 If his dad just passed away it is best to show your support but stop worrying about the fact that you haven't seen or heard from him much. It may be that he prefers to grieve about it with family members or really close friends. Since you haven't been dating very long maybe he feels it isn't fair for him to depend on you that way so if he doesn't want to, don't expect to change that. Let him know you are there for him but don't try to force him to being open to you about his feelings regarding this-he is probably having enough of a hard time figuring out for himself right now. Give it time...if he wants to he will share his pain. It sounds like you have left the door open if he decides he wants to enter so leave it at that and just give him some space to sort through all the difficult emotions he is facing, everyone grieves differently. You have already done all you can, unless he actually asks for more just let it be.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 December 2009):
Depression is something that can only truly be faced alone. You cannot help him out of it, he has to do it himself. You can only be there as someone to rely on occasionally, not all the time. At this moment, he must face his demons alone, and you can only be there to hug him and tell him it will be okay. But don't think that you can make him better, or make him see the light. You can't, and you're more likely to get depressed yourself. I think unless he really shows interested in you, and interest in trying to heal himself, you may need to end it for your own peace of mind.
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