A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife is very jealous. I get accused daily of flirting with or sleeping with women at work, as part of my commute, even with my cousins. Nothin I say can change her mind, and it's all so absurd to me. I haven't been with any woman but her, we met in highschool. This has gone on for a long time but seems to be getting worse. She's also started drinking. She always enjoyed a glass of wine, but now some evenings she drinks a whole bottle and maybe couple wine coolers or mikes hard lemonades also. She goes off about other things too, not just other women. One time we were at the zoo with our young son and she thought they had overcharged her. She drank some wine before we went, and at the zoo she was screaming and cursing and causing a big humiliating scene in a crowded family place. I grabbed my son and headed for the exit because she wouldnt listen to me to shut up. Then she was screaming for police and calling me a kidnapper. I don't know what to do, I've suggested counseling or psychiatry in the past she takes it as an insult and it starts another fight. She wont admit she has any kind of problem. I even considered black market mood altering drugs to hide in her food but thats just desperation not a good idea. Any practical advice would be much appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2010): well...i may be only 13 but i know from experiecence that you cant help someone who is drinking until they admit they have a prooblem. My dad used to be a BIG time drinker and it hurt all of my family (mainly me) so badly i started cutting myself. Usually, it takes somthing big like trying to commit suicide (in my case) for somone with an alchol problem to relize just how much they need to stop. I do not know you, or your wife, but i can tell you love her very much. Tell he that. Tell her that she needs to stop, and that shes hurting you, your family, and ECPECIALY you realationship. Long story short, tell her how you feel abut the whole situation, but MAKE SURE SHE HAS NOT HAD ANYTHING TO DRINK or se will not listen to a word you have to say. Well, i hope all goes well. I wish the best for you both :)
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Offer her the help and the solution but if she can't commit to her rehabilitation than you might have to let her go. Its not healthy for your child to live in that hostile environment. You can only do so much and if she is not willing to change and stop her drinking there is not much you can do, you can't force a person to change.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Has she had past experience with someone cheating on her or has she ever caught you or heard from someone else about you cheating on her? If so, that might be the problem, and drinking is also the problem. If you really love her and still want to be with her, get her to stop drinking first. Always talk to her when she's not drunk. If she accuses you, Tell her how much you love her, talk about the past, how u guys met etc. I think when a person is like this, you need to be Extra sensitive with them' Or they will go crazy on you. One needs to be calm in a relationship, not always! but if you know your the "normal" person in the relationship, You can fix this. If you think she has problems' don't try to let her admit. Because this will be the problem..and she will act like she has problems, even more.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 May 2010):
You can't help a person who won't help themselves. To be honest, I think she needs a major shock to her system for her to see it. your son will be highly disturbed by this, even more than you. And I think you need to tell her that she either gets help or you'll leave. And you need to mean it. You mustn't allow her to ruin your life or your son's life, which seems to be happening. You may even need to have her committed at this rate.
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A
female
reader, Blondiebrooke69 +, writes (26 May 2010):
If u really love her tell her that the drinking is getting bad and for the sake of ur children u want to set a good example and provide ur kid with the view of a loving realtionship....honestly most people wont see it until they are left by their partner and its sad how jelousy and drinking can ruin relationships but u and ur son deserve better and u need to address this to her....good luck :)
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