A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am a female student presently studying at a university where I met this other woman friend at a social gathering through some common friends.She was whining a lot about how she was not coping up at studies and with university life in general. Some of us consoled her and tried to put her at ease. She also became friends quickly and in particular with me. She requested my help with subjects that she had difficulties coping with. I had already studied the similar subjects as a part of other courses and agreed to help with her. She also approached me for help with her resume, mock interviews etc. Since I was her senior in terms of age with considerable work experience I once again did a favor. But I slowly realised that she was overtly clingy and attention seeking. She would purposely come and pretend to be my bestie when I was sitting with people from my section. She would sit with all of us and start making conversation on the side, with me alone in the language that she and I shared. My and most of my other section mates often conversed in a different, more widely spoken language in our native country. Once or twice I completely ignored her and the third time I told her to speak in a language commonly understood at the table. At a later date she invited me to join her and her section mates for lunch. Then I was surprised to see that she spoke mostly in english or in the other language that was a majority. It surprised me how she behaved herself with her section mates but was badly behaved around my friends.I am do not drink or smoke. On many instances when she used to spend time at my apartment seeking help with homework this girl used to act all preachy about how she hated it when people smoke or drink. At a later date she invited me to a party being hosted by our common friends where she was busy smoking week and drinking. I am would not have attended the party if I had known that the only thing she and some of the other friends would do would be to smoke week and drink and ignore other invitees completely. Rest of her other friends who neither spoke and drank kept to themselves and didnt bother striking up a conversation with me. Feeling alone I left the party.For another subjects' homework project where this girl I and yet another classmated had formed a team, the girl had refused to even include my set of photographs relevant to the project. She then included it only upon my insistence since the project report would look incomplete without it. We also were complimented by the professor for our work done and the girl went out of her way to talk to the professor about her perspective on the project and we both were made to stand silently, probably giving the faculty the impression that me and this other girl didnt contribute as much as this other loud mouthed classmate of mine did when we in fact did all the work including that of retyping portions of her report that were in tatters as far as grammar and spelling was concerned. At another party where I was singing, she walked in and began to singing the song unasked and that too very loudly. Halfway through the song she stopped since she didnt know the lyrics, while i continued. She then abruptly turned to me and said "I dont know those lines. You sing if you want" and abruptly walked away as if I was the one who interrupted her singing all along. A few days later I was talking to another of my friends about how I was unwilling to take a lot of pressure about some of the subjects because I already knew the basics. She yet again came and waspishly remarked about how i scored low in one such subject despite knowing it beforehand already. She said this despite the fact that I wrote the exam immediately after 3 rounds of interview at campus- one round of which was overtly stressful. This was also the same subject where she had sought my help with homework earlier as I knew the concepts beforehand.I have noticed that many of her close friends are aware of her attention seeking attitude and dont bother a lot about it. One of them, a highly popular boy at our university who is much older than her and closer to her in fact indulges this behaviour of hers a lot. I am really irritated with her attitude and wish she would both cling or act overtly competitive. It is not as if I wanted to make friends with this girl. She acted overtly downtrodden and sought my help. and in return her seemingly green is what i get in the name of friendship though I didnt ask for it. How do i get rid of this girl? Confrontation doesnt seem to help since she is overtly immature and I have seen her throwing too much temper tantrums - a trait that disgusts me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (24 January 2018):
 Its as simple as this, you are both different kind off people who have different interests and traits. It is clear from your post that you don't see her as a good friend, she annoys you and her personality is just not for you. That is fine, nothing wrong with that.
The best thing to do is gradually pull away from her, start declining invites to things, and cutting conversations shorter, she will soon take the hint. I don't think you should out right tell her you don't want to be friends, because if she is an attention seeker she will use this against you to make everyone feel sorry for you. Best thing to do is just pull away from her slowly.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 January 2018):
 I'd just slowly cut the contact and avoid doing projects with her.
Be less and less available. Focus on your education and the people who ADD to your life, be it at school and away from school.
It sounds like she is a bit jealous of you and likes to take you down a peg or two when possible, THAT is not a good friend. And quite frankly, you sound a little jealous of her too.
If she wants to work with you on a project just tell her no you already have plans with other people, she wants to hang out - you are busy that evening or she wants you to tutor her - you are too busy with school work.
I think confronting her won't work, nor is it really necessary. Just slowly STOP being available to her. She will seek out other people who WILL feed her need for attention. They always do.
As for the older male friend, so what? He can do what he wants and indulge her if he please - not your business or concern.
You don't OWE her friendship or anything...
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