A
female
age
41-50,
Arcada
writes:Hi everyone,Just wanted to share this one with you. Last January my partner walked out on me, our 4 month old son and my 2 children from a previous relationship. To say I was gutted is an understatement! I couldn't eat or sleep, I carried around this incredible pain for 5 months. I joined this site and got some great advice from some of the aunts on here. However, I couldn't help myself. I would call him crying and begging him back, this just pushed him further away. I would spend my days feeling anxious, praying he would call and say it had been a huge mistake. He played a big part in our sons life so we were always in contact. Then after 5 months I started to get my life back on track and he came back. I just let him come back without question because he treated us well and we all loved him so much.Everything was going good when two weeks ago after an argument he left again. For the first couple of days I would call him and he would say its over for good and that he was never coming back. From somewhere I got this strength, I changed my number, deleted his. I was determined not to lose my dignity like last time. Before I changed my number I told him to contact mt sister regarding arrangements with our son. This meant I never had to see or speak to him again. He could collect our son from her house. I felt in control of the situation. I wasn't waiting around for him to contact me. I could eat and sleep and I started to think I was better off without him.Then, after a week of no contact I get a letter begging me back. The letter said everything I wanted to hear. I was shocked I never thought he would do that. I am not sure what I will do but hey it feels good.Please don't think I am writing this to be smug. Maybe I am better off without this guy, I don't know....My point is, the aunts on here are right, this time I listened and knew the only way I could get over this guy would be to cut all contact. I didn't expect to have this response. I was prepared to get on with my life and by deleting his number and changing mine, I felt stronger and kept my dignity.This behavior made him shit his pants and come running back. So all you girls heartbroken out there, I know how you feel, it hurts like hell. My advice would be to cut all contact. Maybe they will come back, maybe they wont. Either way you will feel better!Thanks to all the wise owls out there that answer questions. You have all been great. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2009): Thank you for writing this because I have to agree that no contact really does you a big favour. I did not call or e-mail or anything, but after a few days I blocked the e-mail address, etc. I will not pick up if he ever calls again, because I know I deserve better. What I did to him made him shit in his pants too because he didn't expect me to message the girlfriend about him cheating. He then threatened me by impersonating police, just to scare me but really I was done after sending one message to his girlfriend on facebook. I didn't send the message in spite, but to warn the girl but it is her choice whether she wants to take what I wrote. I found out I was playing the other woman, and ended it. Anyways, impersonating the police just shows how low he is or desperate. He lost to me, and his game was cut short. I have to say I did cry for two weeks after I dumped my ex, but I am glad that I am not in contact with him at all. I don't want to anything with him at all or even see him, but if I do run into him there won't be any bad words to say. He will get what he deserves and it will come back to haunt him some way or another. I can move on with my life and find someone who will treat me with respect. And yes, I feel a lot better without him.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2009): I have not had a relationship with a child and boyfriend/husband or have been married so I may not be on the same page as you. But I do have a hell of a time getting over ex's and loose confidence I have found that relationship helper books do actually help my self worth/ self-esteem if that could be any help? Some really help explain the situation. I have a three strike rule
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