A
female
age
30-35,
*ueensNYgirl
writes:This is a bit of a long story, so I'll try to make it short.I have an amazing boyfriend. He treats me like a queen and would do anything to make me happy. I see in him the man I want to marry and the man who I want to father my future children. There is one problem, though. The way we met was unorthodox to say the least- we were basically just looking for no strings attached sex (both of us). He had just gotten out of a bad, bad relationship and I was thinking of dating someone else, so we were just looking to blow off steam.The problem was I fell in love with him almost instantly. Despite him being completely honest with me (he needed to focus on work at the time and not a girlfriend), he continued to see me and continued to treat me like his girlfriend without ever making it official. Understandably, I felt used but kept coming back for more because I wanted to. He promised me if I moved closer to him, we would date. And so I did. He immediately was true on his word and made me his woman.Anyway, fast forward a year. I was really hurt for those few months where I was being denied the dignity of being called his girlfriend. For the first few months of us actually dating, he didn't refer to me yet as his girlfriend. Again, that hurt. Although we are past that point in our relationship and he dotes on me and tells me he loves me (both with his words and his actions), I can't help but feel down about how we met and how much I had to pursue him before he dated me, and also about his reluctance at first to treat me like a girlfriend even after we started dating. Things have done a complete change since then, but I can't get that out of my mind and it's killing us. I know that I am pushing him away by being so unsure of myself and getting myself down about this, but I can't help it and I am at my wit's end.I feel that if he loved me the way I loved him, he wouldn't have worried so much about concentrating 24/7 on his job and would have loosened up and let me into his life as more than just a friend with benefits from the start. Before we dated, he told me all the time he was a fool for not snatching me up right then and there... so I always ask myself 'why didn't he do it?' I wonder if there is anything wrong with me.I repeat that he is a fabulous boyfriend now, but whenever he tells me he loves me and that I'm beautiful, I can't help but let the way we met still have a hold over me. I need help getting over this and getting my self-esteem back. I was so sure of myself before all of that happened! I used to be the girl that all the other ones envy- so sure of herself, confident, and with a good head on her shoulders.I want to work on this so I can be the best person I can be- both for him, and for me. I want to be with him in the long run. What I saw in him from the start (how amazing of a man he is) has never changed. * 1 hour ago * - 4 days left to answer.Additional DetailsThanks for telling me these things. I feel like I need to hear things like that to make me stop feeling this way, otherwise it *will* ruin our relationship.47 minutes agoElizabeth- That was awesome. I talk to him about this and always end up crying. I just can't believe how much my self-esteem took a hit from this! I loved him from day 1 and he tells me he felt the same way about me, but I think about it and just stew and ask myself why he didn't make a move then and spare me all the heartache. I just want him to understand where I'm coming from, and then we can move forward.I adore him and would do anything for him- my life would never be the same without him in it. I'm willing to do anything to get over this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): I had the similar situation. He never called me his girlfriend and he never said he loves me. He never admitted to his friends who I am for him. But I was still seing him.There were times when I was very angry with him. He used to say that if I love him I will feel his feelings for me. That love doesnt need words. Then we were seperated by our families, it is a long story. I will be short, he was looking after me, sending letters, but they were stuck with my neighbours, i never got them. We have lost each other and we moved to different countries. But in the world of internet, i managed to find him(i was 3 years married at that time to another person). When we met after 10 years I understood his words. You dont need say anything, you just see someone and you know you love him and you see that he loves you, the way he looks at you, the way he cares about you, the way he notices every slightest change in your mood.
So what I want to say, do not loose what you have now! Some people show their love like your boyfriend. True love doesnt need words.You just see it in his eyes. Enjoy your life, enjoy your love and dont think about past.
Every day of my life I still think about that man I have lost once. think abou it...
A
male
reader, JamoiTehNinja  +, writes (6 July 2010):
You said "He had just gotten out of a bad, bad relationship"
perhaps when you two had just started being intimate he wasn't ready to get into another relationship, even though thats what it developed into he may have been vulnerable and scared to openly call it a relationship. You may wonder why he didnt say he was worried if that was the case, that could be because he didn't want to scare you away or make you feel you were rushing him. Of course the out lining fact is that even though he didn't say it was a relationship that's what it grew in to and clearly the bond and relationship is very strong.
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A
male
reader, KingOfThron  +, writes (6 July 2010):
 Dont be a silly girl :), you said so your self he is a good guy and that your lucky to have him, the best part is that he has kept his word and moved slow with you insted of jumping right in becuase he know's there is more to life then just a girl and sex.
You have a guy that loves you like you love him, you guy's found each other in the same way so dont you think that it was ment to happen? you bouth needed to let off some steam and fond each other, that turned into a strong team for you and him.
Dont worry about how you guys got together and what has happen in the past, when a guy is in love and amits he should have tryed sooner trust me odds are he means it if he has kept his word to you so far, look at the better side of the relasonship(to tell ther truth i dont see a bad side but anyways) you guys are now together and you might have something really good here for your self, just try to enjoy what you have and go with how your gut and hart is telling you(like you'v done so far) becuase its leading you the right way
Good luck i hope this helped :)
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