A
female
age
36-40,
*ustcurious
writes:I will soon be getting married to a Ugandan man, and our relationship is wonderful. I sometimes worry that he will be very withheld during sex and will be very conservative.He was raised in Uganda, basically as one of those kids you'd hear about in a "Save the Children" infomercial. I am sure that he was raised very conservatively and did not know much about sex growing up. Anywhooo, I want to make things as enjoyable for him as possible! I understand that he'll never be interested in oral sex and stuff like that, but I'd just like for him to be as fluid, relaxed, and content as he can during the traditional missionary sex that we will participate in. Is there anything that I could possibly do for him to help ease him? Or, would someone who has been raised so conservatively truly be happy with sex no matter what? I just want him to enjoy things as much as he can, and perhaps let go a little bit and truly enjoy the experience. And like I said, I worry sometimes (for his sake, not mine) that he will not let himself appreciate sex emotionally and physically like an American.For those of you who have perhaps married foreigners before, thoughts??
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): Cmon! Why does everyone have the wrong perception that children who are brought up conservatively don't like sex?
justcurious -I am curious.Did he tell you that he is not into oral sex and all that?
The ones who are brought up conservatively have the same flesh,blood and never endings that you guys have.Our blood is red too.
Yes!you have a battle on your hands getting him to loosen up?Isn't a challenge more interesting.;-)Isn't it wonderful that he is innocent and you would be the one teaching him the tricks?
Take one day at a time.Take one step at a time.Tease and retreat.Tease and retreat.Watch for his eyes.If they go hazy that's the time when you don't retreat and tease for some more time.But retreat again.Till both of you cannot bear to retreat.
Most of the ones who don't talk about sex or don't know much about sex are the ones who are the most erotic.We don't have anyone else to compare you with.That makes it all the more erotic and sweet for us.
Love leads the way.If both of you are in love things spill over from the heart onto the bed.The ones who are patient in love reap the rewards.
A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Don't be embarrassed to talk about sex together. I assume it will be his first time so he might be a bit nervous so concentrate on making him feel comfortable and at ease with you. You sound as if you love him very much, I don't think there's going to be many problems in the bedroom at all. Just go with the flow, help him relax, tell him how much he's loved and the rest will all come naturally.
~Eve~
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A
female
reader, justcurious +, writes (1 January 2009):
justcurious is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks!! I had to give the first answer a 1 star because, well, I know for a fact that the last thing that my guy would ever do is watch porn or use toys or anything beyond, haha, well a condom maybe. However, as for the second answer, thanks!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): The best thing you can do, is not to put pressure on him. On your honeymoon, he might actally be racing to try to get it over with because of anxiety. Slow him down. Make sure he knows that he can fumble. And that you can funmble, too, and be clumsy. Laugh at yourself (not at him, at least at first:)). Compliment him. Make the bed a safe, fun place. I guarantee this is a formula for a foundation for a mutually growth-experiencing satisfying sexual/personal journey - P.S. Tell him he was so good afterwards. Build his confidence. It will pay off ten fold for you next time:)
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A
male
reader, roadman +, writes (31 December 2008):
 I'd get him to watch youporn.com and show him some tricks of the trade he just might like to try..If he don't know to much about sex then you have to show him the way!
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