A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Unfortunately I have been very foolish in that I have fallen deeply in love with an older married man. I know it is wrong and that I am wasting my time, but it now feels impossible to end as the feelings get stronger and the bond between us strengthens.I am an intelligent, sensible woman in my mid-thirties in a long-term relationship of my own but I have never experienced emotions like these before and I can't find the strength to do the right thing and walk away.The guilt that I'm feeling is worsening and my own once happy relationship has started to suffer as a consequence but after six years it is still going on and I now love this man more than I ever have. We basically met and clicked instantly. I was always aware of his wife and family and he was aware of my relationship with my partner. We enjoyed each others company so started spending more and more time together and soon we had fallen in love.So now he has a wife and me and I have my partner and also him. A tangled web of lies and greed, pain and longing.Each week we try to see each other at least twice but we do not have a sexual relationship.I could really do with some advice, guys. How to find the strength to move on with my life from a situation that is slowly destroying me?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2008): Google emotional affairs, there are all kinds of articles on the subject.....this is still cheating, you are deeply in love with a cheater and it will become a physical affair if you continue...there are many reasons these happen, one of the reasons is isolation and loneliness, as in maybe your 6 year relationship has run it's course and it is time to move on from it...not with the married man, he is off limits and it is a dead end situation for you...In my opinion and in the opinion of many experts, people who cheat lack all sorts of things like integrity, loyalty, appreciation for their partner, commitment, and the ability to love and love actively......you are caught in a fantasy land of longing and you just plain are not thinking right, there is something wrong with the way you think and logic has flown out the window, this does not make you intelligent, it makes you a bit crazy.....the definition of insanity is to continue to do the same thing over and over again expecting different results....you keep seeing this man, you think you are in love but you are actually miserable and lost......go get into therapy, you may be suffering from depression or personality disorder, you need some help to process what is going on and may benefit from medication, there is something not working inside of you.....this is not an externally caused situation as you would have never entered into it if something wasn't lacking IN YOU.....unless you want to continue to emotionally self destruct, please seek some help, it will be the best and kindest thing you did for yourself....emotional affairs are damaging to all the parties involved including his family.....
A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (23 February 2008):
 How can you call this an affair if you don't have sex?
I thought you said that you are intelligent woman, this is a friendship you have, surely? Am I missing something here?
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