A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my bf...ex bf....idk what we are exactly but i know he is a drug addict and has told me he wanted help and had a personal cry for help but now with some pending legal problems he says he wants to use till he has to potentially go away for awhile, i believe rehab would help him and his court situation but what is the best way to talk to him about it and try to get him to understand the good it will do for him and us and our child? i wont do an intervention bc that would make things worse and he is in a bad state where he could flip flop at any minute, like bi polar, but if he wants to get back on his feet i feel discussing rehab is the first step. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (3 June 2012):
If he's adamant keeping on using, no lecture is going to make him change. So instead, ask questions.
- ask him to keep track of his drug use, including when and how much he uses. This will give him a better sense of the role the addiction is playing in his life
- ask him to list his personal pro's and cons of quitting, as well as the costs and benefits of continuing his drug abuse.
- ask him to think of the impact his drug abuse has on you, your child, his health.
- ask him to think of what's preventing him from changing and what things could help him to make the change.
If you can get him to seriously think these things over he may get into the right state of mind to want a change. It's then when you can take the next step to getting him to rehab. Remember, rehab is not a magic pill, its success entirely depends on his commitment to the program.
Also, if nothing you do or say is helping, try to let him go. I'm not saying you should shut the door in his face when he comes asking for help, I'm just saying that when he persists on continuing going down this destructive path, there's often not much you can do but hope. You have a child and yourself to look out for. Don't let him drag you down in this misery if you can't get him to help himself.
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