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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I never thought this would be an issue, but my girlfriends is sex addict. She wants to have sex at least two times a day or as much as possible. I mean our record is 8 times a night.So to my problem. I really enjoyed this in the first few moths of our relationship, but since we are together for almost year and a half I am getting really tired. I mean I am studying for exams all day plus I have to work. So when I get home around 7pm I am pretty much beat and I just want to cuddle. But she's always horny and when I say NO she's just really unhappy and nervous and kinda angry.I am planning about talking to her about it but I am worried that if I wont satisfy her she might cheat on me.I trust her. But one time we had a week break from each other and she was just so horny she was literally begging me to have sex with her.And I am worried if she's going to have a girls night out after this sort of separation she might cheat.I am also thinking about suggesting therapy to her because I can't keep up with her libido.I really need advice on how to deal with all this. Ps: I need to stress that she orgasms everytime we have sex and sometimes she even has multiple orgasms. My last girlfriend cheated so that might be from where all the paranoia is coming from.Thanks for help
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male
reader, Funluvver  +, writes (15 February 2013):
There is an actual medical condition, largely affecting women, where there gentials are in a constant state of arousal. You should look it up. I believe there is a treatment.
I don't know if that is what is going on here, but there is a distinction between a ferocious sex drive and an actual physiological problem. Yes, most women with the physiological problem are effectively sex addicts and will eventually cheat, but you should know that is may not be her lack of willpower, but instead something with her physiology that is driving her to crave sex all the time.
Look it up and see if there may be some way to help moderate it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (15 February 2013):
 I'm not sure she's a sex addict... she may have a high libido... that does not mean she will cheat...
If your libidos don't match you have to TALK to her...
maybe she could masturbate a few times a day to relive her stress as long as you two have sex on a regular basis that should work out... unless she's using sex for something else... (perhaps she has a past where the only way she defines love and caring is to have sex)
If she's nervous and angry when you say no.. I"m thinking it's not about sex drive, it's more emotionally based.
are you her first boyfriend?
are you affectionate and attentive to her when she's not bugging you for sex?
I want sex more than my hubby... but I understand that drives vary and his not wanting to have sex with me does not mean he does not love me.... perhaps your gf thinks if you don't want sex with her, you don't love her.
I'm not saying this is true... just that she may FEEL that way... and if she does... while it's not accurate, to her it's her feelings and that's all she understands...
talking about it is definitely needed... and if you two can't do it alone and it's a serious enough relationship then yes counseling can help you guys figure out how to fix this.
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 HI
you just have to be honest and tell her your not a sex object. It's great she has a high sex drive but not great for you, when this is all that seems to be on her mind. She definately needs to talk with someone about it. If you have no reason to doubt her fidelity then try not to focus on this, she's not given you a reason to, as it was YOU she was begging for sex from. there's no simple way but the truth so tell her straight.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, Ladyy +, writes (15 February 2013):
Well she sounds young, I am the same crazy sex drive till I met my current bf, no sex drive, im loyal she might be but you have to have a talk with her, ifshes ok wit it then jus keep ur eye on her.. let her kno guys r different, n relationships aren't all about sex. . Theres other things ya can do.. if she gives u the same anger, u may need to end it but its ur relationship idk how long u have been dating. . But yeah communication is key. Also tell her to get a vibrator or watch porn n mess around with herself..maybe that can calm her down. Oo n ask in a nice way.. just suggest sometimes she could try masturbation, here n there.. n talk bout love n how sex isnt everything, you want to explore her in other ways other than just sex, try that!
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A
female
reader, ihavetoomanythoughts  +, writes (15 February 2013):
 Talking to her about reducing the amount of sex is good. You need to have valid reasons (which you seem to have). You might suggest that you're happy just to watch her while she pleasures herself. You might help her out without actually needing to orgasm yourself if that is less tiring for you. You could also buy her a variety of sex toys to keep her busy. And if she has more energy than you, it might be because she doesn't expend as much energy as you throughout the day so encourage her to do something that will tire her out (like study if she doesn't already, like get a job if she doesn't have one already, like learn a new skill if she doesn't have one already).
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