A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im not in a comfortable position right now and i dont like having to stand up to people muchbut my good friends girlfriend is very controlling. she has got my friend trapped, and is slowly cutting him off from his friends.she has been trying to set me up with a girl just a week after the girl i still love left meshe has been telling me that she dosent want her friend to get hurt and asking meall kinds of questions about my involvement with my exiv told her that i do not appreciate having the whole "i dont want her to get hurt, it'll fall on my head" stuff thrown in my face and she exploded saying "fine i will tell my friend you arent worth the effort and i shant bother with you anymore"shes starting a smear campaign now. i do worry for my friend, who has this woman as his girlfriend.how do i help him and not let this controlling little girl get to me?
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my ex, trapped Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionits as i thought, cant really make him take the rose tinted glasses off.
i dont intend to date any of her friends and i want to support my ex, we broke up because she needs friends more than a bf, and as hard as that is, i promised to support her and if i got into a relationship it would
A) be a rebound
B) upset my ex even further
but i really do not appreciate this manipulation, it is emotionally stressfull epecially for my friend and for me, i also do not like this guilt entrapment game shes playing either, her friend has already said what she needed to say, i gave her the oppertunity to say that she dosent want to get hurt and i made it clear that i dont want to hear it too often or it will start to feel like a guilt trap...her friend is being reasonable, but she is not
when she dosent get her own way she creates a hate campaign n to be honest i hate having to push people down when they start pushing me around, she is expecting my friend to give up his commitments for her, shes making it difficult for him.
/rant off
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (2 November 2010):
 Your friend is dating someone who is immature and insecure. She thinks that the only way to keep him as a boyfriend is to get rid of his friends who may take him out where there are other girls. Unfortunately it is up to your boyfriend to deal with her. You can express your concern for him, but anything more will be perceived as meddling and may damage the friendship. In all probability, the love/lust will die and your friend will see this girl for what she is. Just wait until that happens and then be there for him as a good mate. Leave him to learn his own lessons. Don't date any of her friends and get over your ex before you start dating again.
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