A
male
age
36-40,
*ikey19
writes:Alright so heres the deal. Me and my girlfriend used to be friends for a few years before we decided to move it to the next level. Now we've been together for almost a year and its been great..up until recently i havent had any worries.At the start of the relationship when we were in the lovey dovey stage she would always talk about alot of future plans that shed like to have with me like marriage and moving in together and just general plans. It wasnt scaring me as much as you'd think because i really like this girl and while i knew it was unrealistic for her to making such claims so early on, I somehow justified it being ok and going along with it because I was just as much into her. Lately she'd been acting funny so i asked her what was wrong and she said:she is worried we don't have enough in common to sustain us for 5 years or longer. So basically i have realized that her talking about all that marriage stuff in the first place has came back to bite us and she realized herself that she has a problem with looking too far ahead and therfore having alot of self doubt.She told me she loves me just as much as she always has but just now shes worried about 2 or 3 years down the road that we wouldnt get along. (her concerns mainly stem from us not being into the same hangout spots..shes into clubs while im into pubs and we have friends who like our places accordingly) How can i convince her not to have so much doubt. We are good together now and i dont want to lose her over exaggerated insecurities.
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female
reader, scythe  +, writes (2 December 2008):
 Well try telling her that in 5 years she might be looking towards children and neither of you will be spending as much time in clubs or pubs - more like family friendly places. As long as you both make an effort to fit in with the others friends and accept your differences, i dont see a problem. Try sitting down and working out ways to work around your differences.
Good luck :)
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