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female
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*ady_T
writes: Have you ever found your self within a situation , were you were torn between two lovers, how were you able to decide, which one is right for you or were you even able to. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2007): iam so torn, and so upset even though you may see me as selfish, i split up with the father of my child, i found love with a friend and i felt secure, i was really feeling low and had no self esteem or confidence and clung on to this feeling, however my ex has realised and will go to the end of the earth and back for me to the point where he is begging! i just love them both, i dont wnt to let either down, i hate letting people down but at the same time how do i make my decision? its making me ill and i need to make a decision as i want another baby and im 31 and relise i cant go on like this
A
female
reader, Clarey  +, writes (20 March 2006):
 I had that problem. I had a 70% good relationship with someone I liked and was very fond of there were some sides to him that I was worried about for me. Then I came across an old boyfriend who lived on the other side of the world. He fell in love with me immediately and wanted to come back. I did not fall so easily but thought it all through rationally and decided to give up the first one because the second was much more worthy of me and my 8 year old son. Sounds odd to be so scientific but I had been abused by my ex husband and found it hard at first to evaluate what I needed. I did not fall in love as fast as he did, but now I am totally in love with him. I was worried about whether he would make it back all that way to me at all, but took the risk and went for it. It is hard to give people up if you have low self-esteem, how much they "love" you becomes more important than how much you love them. Somewhere inside you know which of them, if either, fits. I missed the other who had been a good friend but I knew that parts of his character would make me miserable if we stayed together. I did not want to hurt anybody so put things off longer than I should have, but hurting people can not be avoided when breaking up so get up the courage, make your choice and get it over with quickly. Remember that you don't NEED either, only perfection will do. Hopefully you would recognise perfection??
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A
female
reader, addison +, writes (20 March 2006):
 it never works! If you are torn now then neither is right for you. If you knew who was the right one, you would know! Does that make sense? Good luck!
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