A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, so I broke up with my boyfriend for about a month and 2 weeks ago (we'd been together for 20 months and most of the time we've been really happy). We go to the same school, so we see each other practically every day. I didn't really wanted to break up with him like i did, but it felt right at the moment, and we've broken up before, so I didn't think it would be that much different, unfortunately it was. I thought it would be best if I layed low and we didn't talk together, so I did that for 1½ week, then we text messaged each other a little and I thought it would be okay to ask if we could meet and talk, it took forever for him to decide (his argument for not coming was that he was afraid that he would want to kiss me). We talked, but it was really hard to make sense in what he said because everything was contradicting what he had said two minutes ago. This is so long ago I can't remember exactly how it went, but he rejected me, and said that we had drifted apart. I was really hurt then and we didn't speak until a little week later, when we both apologised (by text messages) for all the things we had done in our relationship, then we started texting a little again, until one evening some days later after we had been with some friends in town, I had a deja-vue and he rejected me again, he wanted to hug me, but I couldn't see how that would help, so I walked away. He's always wanted to know that I got home safely, it was the same this night, but I didn't reply his messages until afternoon next day. Again, we wrote to each other that weekend, until I read a book about how to get your ex back, so I stopped talking to him for three weeks. He seemed mad at me and didn't once talk to me or write me, though he looked at me often (I of cause would look back and smile). Two days before the three weeks were up, his friend (also my friend) came up to me at a little party and started asking how I was and talked about my ex and how he was. It came out of the blue and was kind of uncomfortable because I had kept away from anything that would tell me how my ex was doing. But at least I could use this info. I was told that my ex was trying to spend all his time on schoolwork, training, playing computer, anything to keep his mind off me, and also he had thought that I was mad at him because I hadn't talked to him all this time (I told his friend that I had thought exactly the same about him), the answer was that my ex has been trying to build a wall around him, but only against me, because he didn't want to let himself feel something for me again. That was a week ago. Since I have told him congratualtion (it was his birthday) and I told him that I wasn't mad at him (he smiled when I said it). He has also looked at me at school and smiled at me when I caught his glance. Still he haven't taken initiative to talk or write to me, even if I instant message him, his replies are often short (this might just be because he was playing a game on the computer). Even though he keeps our (practically non-existant) conversations short, he also does things as sit right behind me when our class went to a theatre and laugh when I said something in recess when some of my friends were talking (and he also sat right behind me in that class). I know that these things might not mean anything and that it was just by chance, but they are still making me confused. Today I wrote to him if he wanted to get together over a cup of something sometime next week, i still haven't got a reply. I'm so confused, it feels like he's sending me mixed signals and I don't know how to react to what he is doing. I miss him loads and I do think that there is a chance for us, I just don't know how to break that wall down that he's made against me.If you made it all the way to this, thank you for your time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, I really needed to hear that :-)
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 December 2008):
 Wait and see if he takes you up on getting that cup of something. It sounds like you both are very much interested in each other. Just take things slowly, I have a feeling that it will all work out if both of you don't rush into it.
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