A
female
age
30-35,
*parkleprincess
writes:how soon is it to say i love you - if you do love someone and you feel ready to say it, how do you say it without totally freaking them out or know that they'll say it back? i think he's gone to say it a few times then changed his mind. is this cos hes scared i wont say it back or because he thinks he shud say it? shud i just go for it or wud that scare him off?
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female
reader, PsyCookie  +, writes (6 September 2008):
 It should only be said if you really mean it, it doesn't matter the time. First, before doing this, don't lie to yourself and ask "Do I love him?" If you hesitate for a "yes", then wait a bit longer.
But I think you should just say it because it's how you feel. You don't need his response and try to be understanding if he doesn't answer you back. My guess is that if he doesn't answer you back right in the moment is because of the shock of hearing those words. He might think "oh my god! She sad she loved me! I can't belive it...she really loves me!"
Say it when your heart tells you so. I literally (I sound crazy but I do) hear my heart telling me "you love him" and so I tell him. When you say it at this moment, it WILL sound more meaningful and truthful.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2008): There's absolutely no 'right' answer to this, with some people love at first sight does prove to be just that, and long lasting too. With others, you are right to be aware that it could be a bit scary, and it might be a long long time before there is a full understanding of where the relationship is going. I've just said those three magic words to someone and it took nearly a year, but in some ways it was all the more special because of that.
You are young and (though you'll hate people for saying it) it does take a bit of experience to understand what love really means and how to 'manage' your relationship. I'd say if you have doubts, don't say the words. Save it for when you are really, really sure, and for the right moment and place.
Also, don't be tempted to automatically respond with 'I love you too', or expect that response if you say it.
It's good to see that you take the word seriously, that bodes well for your future relationships. Good luck.
DH
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A
female
reader, Aunty Em +, writes (6 September 2008):
 I think the time limit absolutely depends on the relationship itself. If you think it's time - then go for it!
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