A
female
age
30-35,
*adgirl2010
writes:My boyfriend and I have been going out for a year and now things are starting to get bad. I text him for a couple hours and then he just stops texting me. I then send a text asking what is going on and he replies that he is busy. I then am skeptical. He tends to disapear at certain times. He also didnt text me at all nights I havent tried yesterday but for the last couple days before he just could not be reached. I called him and he doesnt answer I think he has put my number on automatic forward.he says that he doesnt have minutes cause its not free in the daytime but at night it is not excuse. I remember one time he said that he was going to call one night and never did so i ended up textn and calling and got nothing. I cannot be with him because he doesnt have gas to get me but it seems his friends will give him gas and he would ride them where they need to go but you think he would have gas left over. This is bothering me and I need new opinions I tried talking to him a couple of times but he says right now this is how it is going to be he is like going through some stuff but what does it have to do with me?
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male
reader, xnickx +, writes (14 September 2010):
 I am going to say that i really dont agree with sophie at all.
Maybe it's just the male/female perspective but still...
If you've been going out for a year, and you have no reason to be skeptical prior, than dont be skeptical now. It could very well be that he IS going through some tough times.
What does this have to do with you? You are his girlfriend, his crutch in times of need. He needs you right now, and youre dismissing it as him being insensitive.
I am going to pose sophies responses from a different perspective.
This doesnt sound like you care much about his feelings. He needs you to be supportive, and is letting you know that he can't give you as much attention as you need, yet here you are demanding MORE from him. You are adding stress to him that he doesnt need.
if he hasnt told you his situation, then it may be that he feels that you wont understand, and you will give him pity instead of support. When i went through this, i couldnt tell my girlfriend the things i was going through with my mom. How do you explain that you are taking your mom to court afford college because she could care less about you? you just cant. Let him work through his problems at his own pace. He'll let you know what he wants you to know. You arent married, you've been dating for a year. Yes relationships are about communication, but at this young, somethings are best left unsaid.
You seriously need to think about the added stress you are giving him. If you wont make the effort, do you deserve him.
Of course, these are purely based on my knowledge of what you posted. I dont know if you know his situation, or if you are being supportive, im just saying if you arent, then you need to be.
All i told my ex was that i was going through some rough times and couldnt really be there for her. I told her if she coulnt handle it, then find someone else. So she did.
If you cant handle being there for him, then the relationship isnt going to work out in the long run anyways.
I know girls typically assume the worst, but i think you should give him the benefit of the doubt first, and then react later when he gives you more information.
Seriously tho, best of luck, i've been there. Know its not easy for anyone. If you want, i'll try to give you my opinion of whats going on with him if you want to share more information.
Nick.
A
female
reader, SophieF  +, writes (14 September 2010):
This doesn't sound like he cares much about your feelings!
If, after a year, he doesn't bother texting or calling you and wont even take the time to see you then he's never going to change.
He says he's going through some stuff but you dont say what stuff? Does he even talk to you about what this stuff is? Couples share their problems.
You seriously need to think if he and this relationship is worth the stress it is causing you. If he wont make the effort, does he deserve you?
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